love can surprise you book
by chatana
Summary: love is not always easy but with hard blows that happens to you is even harder
1. Chapitre 1

Chapitre 1

What you want to aim for is more like this:

"I want you to back off Tamara Barnes."

"Whoa, where is this coming from? All I did was give her a ride home."

"I know that and I know you see it as innocent but she doesn't. She's looking for someone to get her through this. The way she looked at you its clear she is going to try and make you that person."

"Baby girl, what are you saying? You think I'm gonna run around behind your back with that chick?"

"No, I know you wouldn't do that but if you keep trying to support her she's going to want more. Do you want to blow your career out of the water because you try to give a victim's sister more than you have any right to offer?"

"You're out of line. I know what I'm doing." With that he walked away, leaving Penelope thinking about the fact that they had come so far and yet he was still too stubborn to listen to her good advice.

She didn't say it out of jealously.

Or did she? All she knew was that when she saw Tamara with Derek earlier in the day Penelope Garcia knew that this woman would only want more and more from Derek. More than he could give her as just one of the agents on her brother's case. She would need support day and night and a hand to hold. Soon he would be in over his head and all because he wanted to be a good guy.

As she headed back to her office Penelope fretted that maybe she shouldn't have said anything to him. Now he would just try and prove her wrong about this. She had hoped he would listen to her and take her advice. But now she had made it seem like she knew better than him. He wanted to prove he wasn't in over his head.

Penelope had the worst feeling that Derek was going to head down a path that not only threatened his career but their romantic relationship and his happiness. Getting too close to a victim's relative could blow up in his face. He was trying to be a good guy but this situation, Tamara needing support, was more than he was able to do anything about.

Sitting down in her chair in her office she let out a shaky sigh. Derek and her had come so far but still she was nervous it wouldn't last.

From the start they had a connection unlike any other she had ever known in her life.

They soon became best friends-sharing everything. Of course there was also something more. Flirting, nicknames, sweet words and supporting each other through everything.

There were also devastatingly tough times. One day the team and Garcia learned what happened to Morgan when he was little. He had been sexually abused it was very hard for Derek. With the help and support of Penelope he has been coming to terms with all of that, after suppressing the pain for most of his life.

After that they became closer.

That got strained when Garcia met a guy at the cafe. He seemed to be immediately taken with her and wanted her phone number. Penelope was walking on cloud nine by the time she got to the BAU.

She always had wanted Derek to ask her out but it was still flattering that this smoking hot stranger hit on her. Still she wasn't sure she should go out with this new man in her life. She told Derek of her concerns and he agreed that maybe this stranger was just too good to be true.

Offended and ticked off, that Derek would dare say a guy like that wouldn't want Penelope, she went on the date with him but it turned out to be a disaster. He shot her.

Penelope had never known physical pain like that before.

That event brought Derek to the point where he admitted he loved her. Still it took months for them to start dating. He finally asked her out after a diffucult case. He just needed to spend time with his baby girl to soothe his hurting soul. She was healed from her surgery and they were closer than ever by then.

After the date they were a couple.

But they decided to take it slow because they wanted to make sure it lasted. Derek was happy to have a relationship with Penelope. Unlike other women he had ever been with she could understand everything about his work, about his past, and about what made him the man he is. He always told her that she was his solace.

She was also the only woman he ever took home to Chicago to meet his mother.

At first she was nervous that his mother and sisters wouldn't like her but they welcomed her with open arms. Fran even called Penelope her third daughter, to the delight of Derek. His sisters thought of her as their new sister too.

Six months into the relationship and Penelope had never been happier. She was having the best sex of her life. Derek always told her he never had better than her either, and the hot, dark look in his eyes as he said this convinced her it was a lot more than a line.

Being with him was everything she ever wanted but now she felt like maybe they were about to fall apart. All because he thought he could be someone for a victim's sister to lean on. Penelope knew that Derek had good intentions but she still saw this as a time bomb waiting to explode in their lives.

Later on that day the team caught a case. Derek called Penelope for information. She answered her phone by saying "Hello, handsome.....are we okay?"


	2. Chapitre 2

Derek swore to Penelope they were okay and he would not get in over his head with Tamara. For her part Penelope did her best to believe it. She was getting everything she wanted with Derek and didn't want to ruin it just because she had a bad feeling over him being friendly with this victim's sister.  
Derek and her had even been talking about moving in together, just as soon as they got a few days off work to take her stuff to his place. Things were nearly perfect in their relationship.

Penelope decided not to rock the boat. But her bad feeling didn't go away.

Not long after the team was called away on another case in the same neighborhood as where Tamara's brother had died. At the end of the case they had their unsub in an interrogation room when they heard a commotion out in the bullpen of the local police precinct.

Aaron and Derek are came of the interrogation room. They heard a person screaming enthusiastically at the officer. .

"Ms. Barnes calm down, "said Derek

"I heard that you stopped the suspects? Really? Was they who killed my brother? They tell you why they did that? Can I see them? "Tamara asked

"Tamara you need to listen to me! For now you need to calm down and let us do our job!

"I need to know why my brother died! That's what I need to know."

"I understand! When was the last time you slept?"

"I do not know! I can't sleep till I have answers."

"Listen I'll take you home. And you have to sleep because you will not last like that!"

"Ok. Thank you."

Hotch was concerned about how it was that Derek had gotten personally invovled with a victim's relative but he kept that to himself for right then. Derek took Tamara home. Sitting outside her house she said "Thank you for giving me a ride back. That is kind of you."

"No worries. I know what you are going through is hard but you need to try and get some rest."

"Yes thank you. You're a good person. A good man, and those are rare."  
"I'm just doing my job."

"No you're doing so much more. Thank you for being here for me."

"Sure! Don't mention it. Glad I could help out. Now get inside and get that nap."

"Uh Derek!

"Yeah?"

"Here's my number if you ever want to call me or talk you have my number!"

"Thanks."

"If you have news please call or stop by. Please keep me posted."

"I'll do that. I know how hard this must be on you."

During this time the team had returned to the BAU as the city or was the case was a 30 minute drive from their office.  
There was a knock on Penelope's office door.

"Enter the realm of infinite knowledge."

"Pen!" Emily greeted as she walked inside.

"You need me for something?"

"You want to come drink coffee with us?"

"Sure thing, sweetie. Just let me shut down my babies and lock up my lair."

"You seem off, PG. Everything okay?"

"No worry, we can discuss it later." They head off to get coffee.

Meanwhile Morgan arrived back at the bullpen. Hotch saw him and called him into Hotch's office.

Morgan answered "I really have a lot of paperwork to catch up on, man."

"Morgan, not now. What you have to do can wait."  
Hotch gave Morgan a long look and then went into his office. Once Derek followed him inside Hotch ordered "Take a seat."

"I'm good."

"Sit down," Hotch ordered and Derek complied.

"What's up, Hotch? Something wrong?"

"The team needed you. JJ tried to call you several times."

"I had to give Ms. Barnes a ride home. You saw her. She was losing it." Derek pulled out his phone. "Sorry. It was turned off. I don't know how that happened."  
"Do you know this woman personally?"

"What? I know her like you do. From the case."

"Then why did you have to be the one to take her home? An officer could have done it and you know that."

"She needed someone to talk to."

"You need to be careful not to cross a line and let your personal feelings cloud your judgement. None of us can afford to let that happen."

"I got it under control. She just needed a ride. End of story. Can I go now? My desk is buried with paperwork."

Hotch nodded. After Derek left he rose from his desk and looked out the window. Hotch watched Derek and hoped that the younger agent wasn't fooling himself when it came to his interactions with Ms. Barnes.

It was a heady thing to be seen as a hero. And that is just how Ms. Barnes would view Derek if he didn't pull back soon. Her own personal hero.

That wouldn't be good for their case, if it ever went to court, or Derek's career. Hotch wondered if Derek was about to really mess up his life by blurring the lines between work and home


	3. Chapitre 3

Meanwhile the girls were drinking their coffee. But they noticed Penelope was distracted. The girls looked for a while before JJ asked Penelope what was wrong.

"Girls, do not worry," said Garcia

Emily told her "Honey, we can see that you're keeping something from us. What is it?"

Penelope looked uncomfortable for a moment before she answered "Can we just change the subject for now, please? I don't want to talk about it right now. But I promise that if I need to later I'll come to my girls."  
JJ and Emily let it go but it was clear they were both still worried about her.

Once Penelope got back to her office she was still worrying about Derek. Her thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock on the door. "Enter the kingdom of Quantico's one and only

The door pushed open and Derek walked in.

"What can I do for you handsome?" Penelope asked with a sad look

"Just checking in with my best girl. I was hoping we could get some dinner together tonight."  
"Sure, if you want." Her computer dinged because a search was done. She turned to look at it.

Derek came up and rubbed her shoulders. "I got to get back to work, baby girl, but all I could think about was you."

"All I can think about is you too. As much as I'd like you to stay in here with me all afternoon I think, if we wanna keep our jobs as crime fighters, that you better return to work, my superhero."

"I'm going, sweetheart, but its under protest," he joked before kissing her head and murmuring "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too."

When he left she still couldn't shake the bad feeling she had over him and Tamara. Derek had said all the right things but the feeling lingered and wouldn't go away. Penelope tried to tell herself she was making a mountain out of a molehill but her sixth sense was telling her disaster was looming.

After work they ended up at Penelope's apartment. She had a bunch of lap tops and work she had to bring home. Since Derek had driven his own car Penelope got out of Esther and gathered all her things. She had made it upstairs before he showed up.

Getting startled by him she dropped some of her papers.

Derek hurried to pick them up and take the lap tops from her. "I'm sorry, baby girl. You okay today?"

"I'm fine, sug," she said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for the save."

She put the keys and her purse on the bar to the kitchen and the fridge will get a beer for Derek and a glass of water for her. After he put down all her stuff he joined her. She gave him the beer but he set it down and instead took her into her arms to kiss her passionately.  
"Mmm," he said "I spent all day thinking about getting my lips on yours again."

She smiled as she slipped out of his arms. "I'm going to shower and then I'll make dinner. You want something special for dinner? "

"Yes I want you for my supper, my heart!"

He pulled her close and kissed her till she was breathless. When she pulled away she told him "Later, beautiful. I really want to take a shower!"

When she came out Derek was lost in thoughts about her but Penelope assumed he was thinking about Tamara. She said his name a few times and he didn't answer. Walking over to the couch she finally got his attention by saying his name really loud.

He grinned and told her "Woman, I'm right here. You don't gotta shout."

"You were on another planet. What's up?"

"I just have a lot on my mind." He stood up and pulled her into the kitchen, by her hand, flashing her a big smile. "Lets get my best girl fed."

They both relaxed and started to tease and flirt with each other as they made dinner.


	4. Chapitre 4

Chapter FourWhile they were having dinner Penelope brought up the fact that this afternoon Derek hadn't been answering his phone when the team needed him. "Baby, JJ tried to call you but couldn't reach you. Then they asked me if I knew you were and I told them I did not know "said Penelope, a little concerned.

"I already talked to Hotch about that. Its no problem."

"Okay, but I'd still like to know."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Checking up on me, baby girl?

"Trying to hid something, handsome?"

"I just wanted to have a nice dinner, sweetheart, not have you sitting there pissed at me over nothing. But if you want to know then okay. I gave Tamara a ride home."

"What? You brought home Mrs. Barnes? What were you thinking?"

"That she needed a ride and someone to talk to."

"I know she needs someone but that someone does not have to be you."

"Whoa, no need to be jealous, baby. I am not involved with that woman. I'm involved with you.

"You gave her a ride 're involved."

He gave her a hurt face.

She softened. "Not romantically, I know that. I know you. But you are getting in too deep by trying to help her to grieve. Its not your place."

"She needs someone. I just gave her a ride. Why is it such a big deal?"

"Because it is a big deal! She needs more than you can give!"

"I was just trying to help her out. She lost it in the police station. You didn't see it. She was falling apart. I couldn't just turn my back on her."  
"Derek, don't you think that is crossing a line between work and personal?"

Penelope did not know quite what to think. She had confidence in Derek but she also knows what it means to be in mourning and she knew that everyone needs someone to latch onto in the midst of that horrible, intense pain. She was speaking from past experience. Trying to tell Derek what she saw, felt and lived! She was afraid of losing him but she also knew her insecurities about it and she tried to explain to Derek but he did nothing to reassure.

"Don't you trust me, baby girl?"

"You need to trust that I know what I'm talking about, baby! I've been where Ms. Barnes is right now." Talking a deep breath she said "Derek, pay attention, you must break contact with Mrs. Barnes. If you try to comfort and be her friend she's going hit a point where she needs more and you can't give it. Not to mention if it ever came out that you were personal friends with a victim's sister you could have an ethical problem. Especially if you must go to court to testify. Your career could be shot to hell."

"Whoa, slow down, I know you mean well but I got this under control. I was just doing my job the best I know how. Helping a person who needs it and that felt good. Too many times in this job I get there too late and too many times I can't tell the families that we caught the unsub and they are going to prison. Sometimes all that is left is another dead body and no way to get justice in a court of law. This time we got the guys, like I promised we would, and that felt good. This was just doing my job. Would you feel this way if she wasn't a pretty woman?"

"It is not your job to bring people home. They had officers to do so. I know your job is not easy and see families in distress too when I counsel them but you can't get personally involved."

"Look, Penelope, I know you think you get this but you don't. You spend your whole day at your desk. You're not on the crime scenes. You don't got to look right in the face of someone who just got told that they lost their loved one."

"You really think its easy to see them weeks or months later? Then its set in! Like it will for Ms. Barnes. She will keep calling you and asking you to come around to comfort her. She'll want to talk about the case. I've seen this happen before. She's going to need to reach out for someone and she's going to reach for you unless you cut her off now."

"You just need to trust me. I only wanted to help her out when she needed it. Don't make this about you and your insecurities."

She flinched back in pain. "Low blow. All I wanna do is make you see how you're getting in too deep with this woman. Look me in the eye and tell me that you won't run to her and tell her as soon as you catch these unsubs."

Derek just looked at her.

Penelope said "If you really think this is just my jealousy then I think you better go home now."

"Baby girl-"

"I'm really tired and I want to be alone."

"Fine! I can't believe you can be so insecure, Penelope. You have no reason to be at all. Just because she's pretty I'm not gonna do anything with her. I thought you had faith in me, baby girl!"

"And I thought you would listen to my opinion but all you're doing is finding ways to stay convinced that I'm wrong because that, convienently, gives you all the permission you think you need to prove me wrong and keep going around that woman until this all blows up in both our faces! Why are you being so stubborn?"

"You're accusing me of crossing a line I never even got close to crossing. I gave her a ride home! I don't get why you are blowing this out of proportation."

"Are you gonna stay away from her, Derek?"

He only stared at her.

Penelope headed for the bathroom and slammed the door. After a minute she heard her front door slam and she began to cry. She took a bath to relax and to thinks about all that had been said.

Later she was sleeping when the phone woke her up "Its JJ. We need you at the office. Can you come?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm getting ready I'm coming! "

"Could you tell Morgan he needs to come in too."

"JJ. Morgan is not next to me!"

"Sorry! Don't bite my head off. What happened?"

"Sorry, sweetie. I don't wanna talk about it right now. I'll be in soon." She was not looking forward to seeing Derek and when it happened she was proven right. They didn't speak and their eyes just lingered on each other in a hesitant way until he looked down at his paperwork, as Hotch told the team there was a break in the case and they were heading back out.


	5. Chapitre 5

After the meeting Penelope was sent to do a search for the other team and update the profiles. Everyone saw that something was wrong but nobody had the courage to ask what it was.

Soon she had the information she needed and headed to the conference room to find that only Derek was there. She felt frozen and thought about turning to leave.

"Princess," said Derek softly.

Penelope she waited for Derek say something, but after a few moments he was still silent. She turned to go, thinking it would be better to get into everything away from work.

"Baby girl "said Morgan, his voice a little louder and firmer.

Turning back around, Penelope met his gaze.

Derek's voice was full of remorse "Pen I'm sorry for what I said."

"Why be sorry if that's how you really feel?" asked Penelope, with a lot of sadness in her voice.

"Cause I don't feel that way. I was just angry after what you told me "

"Getting angry I can understand but not the way you treated me. I tried to make you understand how this woman is looking at you like you can be her hero and will expect more from you later. I wanted you to face the truth about how risky this is for not just us but your career. I do not want you lose what you earned in your life. I love you and I want the best for you and when you said it was me who had something to hide that hurt me more than- "

Derek cut in "Penelope, I do not want to lose you over this. I get that you were hurt by the way I've treated you and I'm sorry for that. If only you knew how much I'm sorry." After a pause he moved closer to her "Baby girl," he said, earnestly, "you gotta know by now that I trust with my life, my heart and my soul. I've never put as much trust in anyone as I have in you. And I love you more than anything. "

"I know you love me I love you too! And I trust you! But I want you to face facts about how you are getting in over your head. All I ask is that you're careful, baby, because I know what it means to be in mourning. I know how much a person needs to grab onto whoever is close by and how desperate a person can feel. If you make yourself Tamara Barnes' life line you could end up being pulled down yourself. I want you to pay attention to that fat and not take the risk."

"I hear you, baby girl. This case will be as soon as we catch the guys who killed her brother and then this will be behind us, okay? We just need to give her closure. I love you. I hope that we're good now. After all you did agree to come live with me, right? Cause I still want that to happen very, very much."

"Yes of course I"ll still come live with you and I love you too, my love."

After that Derek came up to her and kisses her passionately but they were interrupted by the rest of the team filing into the room. After everyone sat down Penelope told them what she found. Hotch thanked Pen for the work she did and the team headed out.

Meanwhile Penelope was all alone until these super-heroes return to office. Penelope was taken in these thoughts. She thought to herself "I know that Derek loves me. I just hope that he will listen to my warning and watch out for this woman. She needs more than he could give. I just hope he stays away from her from now on. I know that Derek won't lie to me and sneak around to see her. But I don't know why I can't stop having this awful feeling. I always have these feelings and these strange premonitions. I don't want to but it's stronger than me. I just need to stop freaking out. He wants to live with me and things will be fine!

That afternoon the team arrested their unsubs, questioned them and they confessed to the murders.  
Hotch told the team that they had a few days. Everyone made a plan to help Penelope move into Derek's place.

Derek called Penelope to tell her to meet him at his house. He had something he had to do but it wouldn't take long- some errand, is how he put it. Not wanting to suspect him or fight she readily agreed and soon she was heading to his place to wait.

Since he had promised to let her know when they got a break in the case Derek decided to stop at Tamara's place on his way home. He knocked on the door.

"I'm coming," said Tamara and a moment later she opened the door.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you that we caught the guys who killed your brother and they confessed. They're going to prison for life."

"Thank you for coming to tell me in person. How nice of you. You want to come in for coffee? "

"No thank you it's late and I'm tired. I want to get home and sleep but before doing so I wanted to tell you. "  
"Thank you, thank you, "Tamara said with tears in their eyes

"Sure. Good night then, "says Derek before turning to leave.

"Agent Morgan, thank you again! And I hope one day we can go have a drink together. That is if you have the time. You still have my number right?"

"I have it. I really need to get home now. Its been a long day."

"Of course, I understand. Some other time then."

"Take care of yourself."

By the time Derek got home the house was quiet. He found Penelope already sleeping on his bed, with the TV playing, and realized she must have been exhausted. He head to the living room to watch some TV and relax for a while before changing for bed. Finally he took Penelope into his arms and fell asleep glad that all the stress of this case was finally behind him.


	6. Chapitre 6

Before moving into Derek's place Penelope wanted to have one final girl's night at her apartment. She invited JJ and Emily over on the last night she would be living there. They rented movies, stocked up on junk food , and then sat around painting their finger and toenails, putting on facial masks and doing other beauty treatments. Before they settled in for the night they headed to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and drinks.

For most of the night the girls were chatting and joking, having a great time, almost behaving as if it was a bachelorette party. They knew how to let loose when they finally got the chance to get away from work.

But during the second movie they watched that evening Penelope's mind started to drift back to everything that was going on with Derek.

After a while JJ broke into her thoughts "Garcia, where are you?"

Penelope startled a little. "Sorry, sweetie. I'm right here."

Emily asked "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Just fantasizing over my sculpted God of thunder," she said, not wanting to spoil their evening.

JJ clearly didn't buy it because she said "Listen, Pen, we can both see that you're not strong and you need to talk and we are here for you and you know it. We won't judge. Just tell us whatever is going on."

It all came out in a rush from Penelope's mouth "Well I know he loves me and I trust him! But since the beginning of this last case the sister of one victim has been turning to Derek for support getting through her loss. I can't help but think this woman will want more and more from him as time goes on. Already he's given her a ride home and she's called his house. I saw her name on his caller ID the morning after the case ended. Before that I had already tried to warn Derek that Ms. Barnes is grieving and she will latch on to anyone who she thinks can help her get through this and he needs to not make himself an option for her but he refused to hear me. He yelled that I was the one who was insecure and thinking he'd hook up with her just because she's hot. Its not about that though. I know that this woman will expect more from him and I want the best for him. He's made it so far in his career. I don't want him to lose everything because he tries to be her hero when she needs more than he can give. He's never crossed the line like this before and I don't know what to think. Why Ms. Barnes....Tamara is her first name. Why is he insistent on helping her personally this way? Is it cause she's so sexy? Is he really looking at her like that?"She asked with tears in his eyes

JJ placed a hand on Penelope's arm and said "Pen you know Derek will never deceive you. He loves you too much for that. And it shows, you know!"

"I know all that I love him too. If I didn't I wouldn't be moving in with him tomorrow. But I also know what it means to be grieving and I know what its like to reach out and grab onto whoever is close by. I have a bad feeling she won't get out of Derek's life now that the case is over and since I made such an issue of it he won't push her away either. He wants to prove me wrong."

Emily told her "He won't cross the line. That's not who he is. The case is over and there's no reason to ever see her again. If she calls he'll do the right thing. Direct her to grief counseling. He's too busy with work to be there for her anyone. And," Emily smiled "he's busy with his girlfriend. I think this is all over. He played hero for a bit but now its done."

"I hope you're right," Penelope said, but her face showed that her lingering doubts were still there.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The men of the BAU also got together that night. They were at Derek's place eating pizza and watching sports. Everyone was kicking back and relaxing when Derek's phone ran. He pulled it out of his pocket, looked at the screen, and then pressed ignore.

Rossi joked "I guess the word has not spread yet that you're off the market."

Derek grimaced. "It wasn't that type of call. Drop it."

Hotch gave Derek a probing look to which Derek snapped "What, Hotch?"

"Morgan, its not my business," Hotch said "But you know Penelope is part of our family and so I'm just going to say this because it needs to be said. This last case seemed to put a strain between you two and moving in together when things are shaky could make it worse instead of better. Just turn to her when you need to. Trust her."

"I hear you," Derek said. "I'm not hiding anything from her. I want this to work."

The phone rang again. He looked at it and pressed ignore again.

Rossi raised an eyebrow. "We may need to alert the media Morgan is off the market."

Derek ran a hand over the back of his head. "Its nobody's business but that is Tamara Barnes calling me. She's the sister of one of the victim's in our last case? You all remember her? Well I tried to help her a couple of times just by telling her when we had news on the case and listening to her talk about her brother and now she keeps calling me. I know how it looks but there is nothing going on with me and her. I love Penelope more than I've ever loved anyone. I'd never do anything that would hurt her."

Rossi asked "Lets get down to the straight stuff. If we weren't here would you answer that call?"

"I wanted to help her out. I had good intentions, man!"

Hotch told him "Its not your job to help her and you aren't her friend or family. You don't have the time or any place in your life for her. You're only setting her up for a harder fall when you get too busy to take her calls anymore. And when do you think you'd have time to stop by and help her grieve? Why would you?"

"I know what its like to me her brother. I was like him. And he's dead. I can see my own sister and how she would be when I see Tamara."

Reid sprouted on about grief for a while and made it clear that Tamara needed more than Derek could give by offering her a few kind words.

Derek took another swig of his beer. "So what are you saying? I should just turn my back on her? Ain't that a little cruel? Not to mention rude. She is just trying to cope. I get it."

Rossi asked "Doesn't Garcia counsel victims on weekends?"

"Yeah," Derek said. "She's got such a big heart that she can't stand to know they are out there suffering after these cases are done. I can see where she is coming from this time around. We always walk away and leave these families to get through it all alone. I know that's what we gotta do but this time a victim's family member feels like she bonded with me and its hard to tell her to get lost. That's all it is though. Its not about what she looks like or if she wants me. I got my girl already and I know I'm damn lucky to have her."

Rossi said "You wanna keep her then I'd send this Barnes chick to the counseling center and stop trying to be her own personal Dr. Phil. But that's just my take on it."

They focused on the game on the TV again and that was the last said on the subject that night. Derek was lost in his own head, thinking about his past and how close he came to being a dead black kid laying in a pool of blood. He made it out but so many other's didn't and there was not a damn thing Derek could do to make that better for anyone.


	7. Chapitre 7

The team helped move Penelope's things to Derek's house. Afterwards they ordered food and all had dinner talking- laughing and joking without any of the tension that surrounded Penelope and Derek for days before that. When they team left Derek and Penelope collapsed on the bed, exhausted, and looked at each other.

He said, with a deep grin on his lips, "Welcome home, mama."

Her eyes lit up. "Mama is happy to be home, my amazing prince charming."

They shared a sweet kiss and soon they were making love. The next morning Penelope woke up to the feeling of Derek's arms around her. She slipped from the bed, took a quick shower, and headed to the kitchen. She wanted to make breakfast and bring it back to the bed for her man.

Going to his fridge she saw he had eggs so she started to work on an omelet.

Before she could bring the tray upstairs though Derek's cell rang. Though he usually kept it on his bedside Penelope could hear that it was in the living room. In the confusion and exhaustion of the move he must have forgot about grabbing it last night before they lay down for bed. Neither had planned to make love and fall asleep as soon as the team left.

Penelope went into the living room to check Derek's phone to see who was calling, just in case it was work related.

Tamara Barnes flashed on the screen. When she saw the name on the phone she was struck with this terrible feeling. Like a wave it become increasingly strong and increasingly large.

Penelope let the phone ring till the voicemail kicked in.

Letting out a sigh she stood there, nibbling her bottom lip worriedly, and fretted. Should she talk to Derek? If it does how it will he take it? She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't realize that Derek had came up behind her until he kissed her neck.

"Hello Princess, sleep well?" he asked before turning her around in his arms and kissing her passionately.

"Hello, my prince. Yes I slept well. Actually I always sleep well in your arms. I was going to come wake you up with breakfast in bed for our first day as roommates!"

Giving her a quick kiss he cried "You're the best! "

She smiled at him "You bring out the best in me, baby. Now come with mama. Our feast awaits."

They take their breakfast in silence, enjoying the presence of one and another. After breakfast Derek took a shower, dressed in sweats and took Clooney out for a run. Meanwhile Penelope pondered wondering what she could do to make Tamara back off Derek.

She thought to herself My God this woman can not drop it! The case is over!

She shakes her head to remove any thoughts she had. Then after finished sorting it settles on the couch to watch TV and wait for Derek to get back. More than an hour later he came in. Tending to Clooney he got the dog some water and then grabbed himself a bottle of water from the fridge.

Plopping down on the couch next to Penelope he pulled her against his sweaty body. Kissing her forehead he murmured "Missed you."

"Missed me. Missed me. Now you have to kiss me," she chanted the children's nursery school rhyme.

He gave her a tender kiss. They spent a while hanging out- watching TV, talking and laughing. After a few hours Derek asked her "Honey, you know where my phone went to? I couldn't find it this morning before I went on my run. I hope it ain't buried in all the stuff we moved cause I'm in no mood to go searching for wherever it dropped out."

"Oh yeah I forgot you got a phone this morning." She pointed over to a table by the front door that had mail on it and there lay the phone. Derek must have tossed it there when he came in the day before, probably when he was busy carrying other things too.

"Thank you! "

Morgan went and got his phone to see who called. Then he let out a long breath. He knew that if Penelope had noticed her called she would probably be pissed. She seemed all right but he wanted to check. Walking over he asked "Baby girl? "

Yes my love! What do you want?" After a pause she added "What's up, Hot Stuff? You're looking at me kinda funny."

Derek did not respond for a few moments. In his head he was thinking about how he had to back Tamara off before she completely turned into a stalker. He didn't want her bringing stress into his home, especially now that Penelope was leaving there with him. He didn't want to lose the best thing to ever happen to him just because he felt like he could help a victim's sister more than he probably had any right to try to help.

Maybe he had made a mistake but, if he had, he would find a way to fix it. Find a way to kindly get Tamara to see that she couldn't get calling him everyday because he couldn't give her the sort of help she needed most. He didn't have the ability to make it all better for her, even if he wished he could help every victim and their family get past their tragedies. He wanted to feel like he was really making a difference. Sometimes cases touched Derek close to him- when it was kids, or when it was a woman who was targeted by a man who pretended to love her, or when it was a nurse, like his mom, or someone who looked like one of his sisters. This time the victim reminded him of himself. The guy he had been when he was younger and living in Chicago. A guy who was lucky to get out alive.

That was what made him feel for Tamara. It wasn't her looks or the thought he could be with her. He had exactly who he wanted in his bed already. He thought he might be able to be a friend to Tamara. But Tamara, whether she meant to or not, was making herself look like she wanted more than friendship with Derek because she called so often.

He couldn't let his getting a little too personal with her wreck his newly made happy home with Penelope.

Penelope knocked him out of his thoughts when she called out his name again "Derek! "

"Yeah sorry! I wanted to ask if you saw who called me?" He was anxious to know the answer and watched her face carefully for clues to if she was mad."

"Yes I have saw who called all you! But I wasn't gonna say anything because I trust you. Now that you bring it up though, baby, I can't believe how much that woman is calling you."

"Penelope, let me explain-"

"Derek you're a big boy but I do not like this woman. Not at all. And I don't like all you're risking for her."

"Whoa, I am not risking anything," he said, stressing the words to try and tell her he would never risk them. "I love you and I live with you not with her."

"I know that. I know you love me but you still won't even consider that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to grieving family members of the victims we have in our cases. I know what kind of things are going through her head and what she must be feeling as she realizes that, yeah, the unsubs were caught but nothing will bring back her brother. Don't forget I lost my parents at eighteen because they got in the path of someone committing a crime. I've already been there. And I have a pretty good idea just how needy she is feeling right now and how much she is gonna be expecting out of you."

"It doesn't matter what she expects. I love you."

"I know that, baby. Its just every time I think about that woman I get the worse feeling. But I love and trust you. I know you'll handle this the right way."

After that both of them ended up on the sofa watching a film but are lost in their own thoughts.  
Once they had to go back to work a case came up where they were separated for two weeks. Things between them got much better. They had their flirty phone calls and their late night sexy chats. Penelope had almost forgotten all about Tamara Barnes completely till Derek got home.

She wanted to believe now that he was back in Virginia he would not contact Tamara and she wouldn't be calling him. But only time would tell.

If that all started up again Penelope didn't know how much more of it she could handle.


	8. Chapitre 8

Since the team had been gone two weeks Hotch told them to leave the paperwork for later and head home as soon as the plane touched down. Derek returned home to find Penelope had taken Clooney for a walk and she was sitting on the stairs of the porch with him.

Jumping out of his SUV he rushed up there to great her. Even though he got to talk to her several times a day on the phone and got to see her on the webcam, when he was away, it wasn't hardly the same thing as holding his baby girl in his arms.

She stood up when she saw him getting close to her and he scooped her into his arms, pulling her tight against his body, finally feeling that peacefulness that comes only when he is holding Penelope.

Lovingly Derek told her "Darlin, I missed you so much."

"Hello, beautiful, I've missed you, too. Welcome home!" She brought her lips to his for a kiss.  
As he deepened the kiss, pressing her desperately close to him, she could feel how hard he was.  
Pulling back slightly Penelope said "I think someone wants to have some fun tonight!"

"You can not imagine how much I want you right now."

"Well what are you waiting for, my love? Mama needs you just as bad."

Derek wasted no time. He carried her inside and to the bedroom. Their hands made quick work of undressing each other, teasing with seductive strokes over each other's bodies, until Penelope was flat on her back with Derek nestled between her thighs.

Just then his phone rang.

He looked Penelope and let out a groan of frustration. Her eyes filled with disappointment, and he knew she assumed he would stop and go check the phone. After all it could be work. But neither wanted to stop. They needed each other to much in that moment.

He leaned over and kissed her. The phone had stopped ringing but started again.

Penelope cried in frustration "Just check it! I swear if there is a case right now Strauss is being taken off the grid!"

Derek got his pants, got the phone out and then sighed when he saw the name on the screen. "No case. Nothing important, baby girl." He crawled back up the bed and his eyes met hers, going hot and hungry in an instant. They made slow and sweet love to each other and blissfully the phone didn't ring again.

Afterwards Derek fell asleep but Penelope couldn't stop thinking. Who could this be called Derek hours of the night? If not someone from the team or his family. Then who? I just can't go back to that woman bothering us like she did before Derek left on his case. Did she call him while he was away? Did he answer it then?

An hour passed and Penelope still could not sleep. Sighing, she got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed. Then she went down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. By then it was three o'clock in the morning. Pen decided to go to the office to do work and research that she had been asked to do. She wrote a post-it note for Derek to tell him where she was and stuck it to the coffee cups where she knew he would find it. She took her jacket and bag and when she went to close the door she was careful not to make too much noise to wake Derek up.

The next morning when he woke Derek found himself alone. He let out a long breath. Now that he was home he was looking forward to waking up holding his baby girl.

He put on his shorts and went in search of Penelope but couldn't find her. Derek decided to go take a shower and then he let Clooney out. When the dog came back in he gave him fresh water and food.

Looking at the clock he wondered where Penelope went and how long she had been gone. He started some coffee. When he opened the cabinet to get a cup he found the note.

Derek

I know you're wondering where I am. Do not worry. I could not sleep so I decided to go to the office. I did not want to wake you up to tell you so I decided to write you a note.

Kisses and hugs,  
your baby girl who loves you.

Sipping his coffee, he began to think. Why didn't Penelope wake him up? Usually when she can't sleep she wakes him up and they go for a ride with Clooney. Ever since she moved in she never left in the middle of the night to go back to work. So why this time?

He let out a frustrated sigh. As soon as he got to work that morning he went to Penelope's office. Knocking on the door he got no answer. Trying the knob he found it locked. He pulled out his phone to call her and heard her cell ringing inside.

Penelope had been sleeping in her office. She woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. Grabbing her cell she saw that it was Morgan. "Hello, my love."

"Hello princess, I thought I'd come see my best girl but I'm locked out."

"Sorry, baby. Hold on one sec." She went over and opened the door. They both hung up their phones.

Derek could tell she had been sleeping but she still looked exhausted. He leaned over to kiss her and when they pulled apart he asked "Baby, how long have you been here?"

She looked at the clock. "Since four. I got some work done and then I finally took a nap."

"Well did you get anything to eat?"

"Not yet."

"Come let's go get breakfast together."

"No, I do not have time and plus I'm not hungry."

"You gotta take care of yourself, baby girl."

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine. All I need is some coffee and I'll be good to go again. Okay?"

"Nope, its not okay. I'm gonna worry as long as my girl isn't treating herself right."

"Morgan, I'm fine, I'm not hungry. Besides, don't you have a ton of paperwork to do, darling?"

"Yeah but I couldn't concentrate till I checked in on my girl."

"I'm fine! Go, my lovely chocolate superhero, you got paperwork calling your name."

"All right but we're going to the diner for lunch. No ifs, ands or buts about it, baby girl."

"Sorry, you're out of luck. I already made plans with the girls. But you can tag along if you want."

"Woman, we gotta talk about what drove you out of our bed and into work. Don't try and avoid me cause I'm not letting this go."

"Like your trying to avoid your midnight phone calls from her? Or do you only avoid them when I'm around?"

"What?"

"Look, Derek, we can't get into this at work. I've got a lot to do." She sat down and faced the computer.

During the morning the whole team noticed something was wrong between Penelope and Derek. There was a tension there and both seemed to be in bad moods.

Right before lunch Penelope called Derek. When he asked he said "Yeah, girl?"

"Are we okay?"

Soothingly, feeling the tension leave his body since he now knew she wasn't mad at him, he said "We're okay. Don't worry. Nothing can make us fall apart if we don't let it."

Her tone lightened. "Then we just can't let it, right?"

"Right, baby girl."

Penelope had to meet the girls by the elevator to leave for lunch but she decided to cruise by Derek's office first. After knocking and hearing him tell her to come in she cooed at him "Mmmmmm, there is my sexy boyfriend, my one true love."

Derek could not help but smile. He crooked his finger at her, asking her to come over, and when she walked closer he sat her on his knee. Penelope leaned over and kissed Derek. When she withdrew from the kiss she looks in her eyes and said "Derek, I must tell you something. "

"Go ahead I'm listening! "Derek said, looking at her.

"Listen, I love you and I can't stand secrets. I don't wanna feel like I need to spy on you so I'm just gonna asked. Who called twice last night after midnight?"

"It was Tamara!" said Derek, lower than a whisper.

"I'm really getting sick of this! You gotta face the truth about what's going on?"

"You want me to face what exactly? Nothing is going on."

"Not for you! But for her there is. Either you are talking to her and leading her on, even if you don't mean to, or she's calling over and over hoping you'll give her the attention you promised by getting close to her before. Whatever it is you gotta make it stop! You gotta tell her to never contact you again for any reason."

"Okay! If you want me to do it then I'll do it. If that will make you happy."

With tears in her voice Penelope answered "No I do not want you to do this because I'm asking but because if it continues like this I'll blow Derek. Because you're my man and not hers. I want you to understand that."

Derek held her tight in his arms and told her he loves. He promised to speak to Tamara today and make her leave them alone.

As soon as Penelope left his office Derek picked up his cell phone to call Tamara.


	9. Chapitre 9

Chapter 9

Derek stood outside the restaurant where he was supposed to meet Tamara thinking about what he was about to do. It didn't sit well with him to hurt a woman who had been through so much already but if he didn't cut off contact he would be hurting the woman he loved who was back at work counting on him to do the right thing.

Someone had to get hurt and he couldn't let it be Penelope

Pushing back his guilty feelings for letting Tamara down he quickly headed into the restaurant to get this over with. He spotted her sitting a table. She waved at him and motioned for him to come join her.

Not wanting to rush right into their talk he just chatted with her as they ate their lunch. But then Tamara brought up "Do you know that you're really hard to get a hold of. Half the time I call you I get voicemail and no call back."

"I know you tried calling me several times. I can not always answer. I have my job, a life and also a lot of things to do. And sometimes my team is around and it wouldn't be great if they knew we were still talking."

"I don't understand. Because we met when you worked on my brother's case?"

"You are related to a case which I was involved in and if I ended up having to go to court ever over what happened it could be a conflict of interest. It probably won't happen but it's the reason why we're not supposed to get personally involved with anyone we come in contact with during cases."

"Yeah but you've done nothing wrong."

"I know I didn't do anything wrong but my team is asking questions anyway."

"What did they say? Because if its about me then I want to know every word."

"They told me to be careful because you'll want more than I can give you."

"How could they know what you can give me? That's for us to figure out."

"I told them that I just set out to help you get through the initial grief and be a friend to you. That we make a connection that was friendly. But I've been told over and over that its out of line."

"Its not up to anyone but us if we are more than friends. I want to see what we could turn out to be, don't you?"

"I have someone in my life already who I really love."

"And she's made you afraid that if you're friends with me you'll lose her? She sounds rather insecure."

"If she is then I caused it by allowing you to get to close to me. I should have drawn a line and kept it in place. Professionally speaking I was out of bounds from the start and I knew it. I just saw a lot of myself in your brother and I wanted to help you heal because it felt like we had similar life experiences. I can't explain it. It felt like we were alike but even if we are I'm already in a committed relationship. I never saw you that way. I never met to lead you on or confuse you." He took a breath and a drink of water. "Yeah, I don't wanna risk losing my girl. And I know I can not give you what you expect of me, in any way, shape or form, cause I'm not trained in grief counseling. I am sincerely sorry about bailing on you but I think you expect too much of me."

"But you've been such a great support. Its helped that you've listened to me. I really needed that and I don't know how I will get through this if you take that away now. I don't mean to sound needy but you're right. We've really connected."

"Listen I think you should consider going to see specialists to help you get through this. They know a lot more than I do about this kind of stuff. There are meetings with people who have experienced the same thing as you." He fished in his pocket and then pulled out a business card "Here is the number and address. Tamara, sorry, but I gotta go now. I need to get back to work."

Derek threw money on the table, put on his jacket and headed for the door.

Tamara called out his name. He turned and went back to find her tears in her eyes. Before he realized what she had in mind she pressed her lips to his, while he stood there stiffly, and then whispered "Thank you so much for all you did."

She grabbed her purse and left quickly.

Derek headed back to work but his head was a mess. He didn't want to keep a secret from Penelope about Tamara kissing him yet he didn't wanna wreck their relationship. As the afternoon wore on he was so stuck in his head that everyone noticed, especially Penelope.

She came to his desk and one look in his eyes must have shown guilt cause she whispered "I think we better have a talk when we get home."

He just nodded, his heart in his mouth, and watched as she turned to leave. Derek hung his head.

After so long of dreaming about being with his baby girl it seemed he was screwing it up royally. Was he secretly sabotaging himself? Did he let Tamara get to close just so he could keep some kind of wall up between him and Penelope?

Why was he so scared of love- having it and losing it- when she was all he wanted and all he needed. He knew she was. And he prayed he didn't lose her over his foolishness.


	10. Chapitre 10

Chapter Ten

Penelope spent the rest of her shift fretting over what could have happened  
between Derek and Tamara to put that guilty look into his eye. Every time her  
mind went there she pushed out the thought that anything physical happened  
between them. She just couldn't go there. After wanting to be with Derek  
for so long now that they were she didn't want to believe he had touched  
another woman in the way he only should take her.

That he would even want to. That all this time this Tamara thing was not about  
being there for a victim's sister that reached out to him but about Tamara  
being hot.

Penelope didn't want to believe that so she kept telling herself she was  
crazy to think Derek was that shallow. He was her amazing man and he deserved  
her trust.

Still there was no denying he was guilty over something. Her thoughts circled  
around her head and made it difficult to finish her shift. When the day was  
finally done she rubbed her head, let out a long sigh, and shut down her  
babies. Since Derek couldn't leave work till he was done with his paperwork  
Penelope went to their place to make dinner and tend to Clooney before her  
chocolate God got there.

The slamming of the door told her when Derek came in. She nearly jumped out of  
her skin because he caught her off guard. She left the kitchen and saw him  
walking through the foyer towards the stairs, jerking off his tie as he did.  
She tried to smile and move in to kiss him but he just avoided her eyes and  
said "I'm going to jump in the shower before we eat."

"Okay, sure! Dinner is almost done."

Derek was already moving up the stairs when he said "Keep it warm, okay? I  
need to take Clooney for a walk too. He could use the exercise."

Penelope watched him till he disappeared from her sight.

XXXXXX

Derek sat down on a bench at the park. For long minutes he got lost in his  
thoughts. His mind was filled up with worried over what happened with Tamara  
at the restaurant. He thought to himself I know that I love Penelope and  
life I have made with her. But when Tamara kissed me I didn't push her away.  
I just stood there and let it happen and I don't know why. I never expected  
anything to come from talking with Tamara but she made me out to be some kind  
of hero. Penelope's everything I want and even more. I love her more than I  
ever loved anyone and it makes me feel good and safe to know I get to come  
home to her love every night.

These thoughts were interrupted by his ringing phone. The screen read Tamara.

He answered "Derek."

"Hey, I'm glad you answered. I was wondering if we could get a drink  
tonight? Maybe finish our conversation from earlier. It felt like we had more  
to say but you had to get back to work."

"I have plans with my girlfriend tonight. We're about to sit down for  
dinner."

"Are you sure you can't get away afterwards? I really need to see you  
tonight. I need someone to talk to and you're the only one who really  
understands the pain I'm in right now."

"Look, I feel for you. I know its rough to lose your brother this way but  
what you're asking of me is way out of lines. I won't lie to my girlfriend  
over anything, especially not over another woman. I'm not gonna lose the  
best thing to ever happen to me. Its like you can't hear what I'm saying.  
You need to hear me: I'm in love with my girl and I don't got a place in  
my life for you. I'm sorry to be so cold about it."

"I get that you're with somebody. What we could have doesn't need to  
affect that. I just want to see you. I need to see you, Derek, please!"

"I gotta go."

"Wait! Just let me say one more thing. You were so right when you said we  
made a connection. I feel it in my soul. I don't know what it means but when  
I'm away from you I feel empty and when you're near I feel complete. If  
you change your mind come to my place later....I'll wait up for you."

Seeing that he was getting absolutely no where with reasoning with Tamara,  
Derek hung up. She must be thick in her grief or half crazy to behave this  
way. All he knew was it could mess up his whole life if he didn't get her to  
back off.

He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. His mind went back to worrying  
about how to tell Penelope that Tamara had kissed him. After a while Clooney  
whined. Derek looked at his watch and realized he had been gone an hour.

He hurried home to find the table set with candles and soft music playing.  
Searching through the house for Penelope he found her in the bathtub with her  
eyes closed. Slowly he walked over to the tub and kneeled down.

"Baby girl."

Her eyes opened and started at him. In them he could see disappointment,  
sadness, hurt and anger.

Since she didn't speak he said "Princess-"

She snapped at him "Your dinner got cold while you were walking Clooney."  
The way she said the last two words made it clear she thought he was up to  
something else.

"I lost track of time when we were at the park. I'm sorry that I kept you  
waiting. It was inconsiderate and won't happen again."

"Just go eat, Derek. I want to finish my bath....alone."

He got up and left the room. Sitting at the table he tried to eat but the food  
had no taste and sat in his stomach like a lead balloon. Penelope finally came  
out of the bathroom and turned on the TV in the living room. Derek made his  
way in there and sat next to her.

He told her, trying to speak as kindly as he could to get her to stop being  
pissed at him, "Honey I'm sincerely sorry. Seriously, I am. If I knew you  
had planned a candlelight dinner I would have never stayed gone so long."

Penelope continued to watch television as if she hadn't heard him.

He went on "Look at me please!"

She continued to ignore him so he grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

"Baby girl, talk to me. Say something! Don't just sit there and act like  
I'm not even here."

Penelope turned to look in him in the eyes with the same look he saw when she  
was in the bath.

"Derek, you've been weird every since you came back from your little date  
with Tamara!"

"Whoa, it was not any kind of date, okay? There's something I gotta tell  
you but its gonna only piss you off more, sweetheart, but you gotta hear it  
anyway."

"Now you wanna talk? Now you have something to get off your chest? Maybe now  
isn't good for me. Maybe you should call Tamara instead!"

"Listen baby girl, I don't need to talk to her. I need to talk to you.  
You're the woman that matters to me. Always has and always will."

"I can't live this way. I never thought it would be like this when we  
moved in together. I didn't think I would have to share you."

"Whoa, listen to me, you don't! I went and saw Tamara and I told her that  
she doesn't fit in my life. I gave her the number to a grief counselor.  
I'm done with trying to be there for her."

"And that is all that happened at lunch? You told her to go to counsoling  
and she agreed to never contact you again? Or is there something you're  
leaving out cause its easy to skim around the truth."

He had planned to tell her about the kiss but hearing her talk like that hurt  
him and he spat at her "I thought you trusted me. Guess I was fooling  
myself, huh?"

"I do trust you but-"

"If you did then you wouldn't be jumping to conclusions like I ran off to  
cheat on you or something!"

"If you did nothing wrong you wouldn't be so defensive! Do you think I'm  
an idiot? Do you think I'll put up with anything just to have you?"

He hissed out "I did nothing wrong. But you won't ever believe my side of  
this because you've got your hard head made up already. I thought I was the  
one with the trust issues!"

"I trust you with my life! I trusted you with my heart! But when it comes to  
that woman I can't live on blind faith because it feels like your holding  
stuff back on me."

"I'm doing my best to make this work."

"Then tell me everything you did with her. I want all the details. What went  
down?"

"Whoa, you really believe I would cheat on you, don't you?"

"I want to trust you but you have to open up-"

"At this point you shouldn't have to force yourself to trust me. My word  
should be good enough for you, Penelope. You don't trust me or what we have  
at all."

"If that's what you wanna believe then believe it! I'm not begging you  
to see how much trust I've given you. It should be obvious! Look at this  
crap you've put me through over this woman. She's Ms. Barnes to me but  
she's Tamara to you and that's just messed up, Derek. Don't turn this  
around on me."

Their arguement turned into a screaming match where Derek dug in, stubbornly,  
and refused to admit to the kiss, having feelings for Tamara, or all the phone  
calls while he was out of town no matter how much Penelope badgered him.

Finally he ticked her off so much that she slapped him. Standing there, both  
panting for breath, Derek told her "I'm done with this," grabbed his  
key, phone, wallet and left.

_Dear reader, I wanted your opinion on my story. I'd like to know what did you think that cheating on derek garcia? __because I'm not all made on. __Let disez you?___

_I want to thank you for your testimony and your support thank you_


	11. Chapitre 11

Chapter Eleven

There were many times in Derek Morgan's life he woke up in a strange bed  
with a hangover but never did he feel worse about it than that day. When he  
first opened his eyes, for a moment, he didn't know where he was or who he  
was laying next to but all too soon reality kicked in.

Tamara Barnes was laying beside him, wearing an oversized t-shirt. He had on  
his jeans but no shirt. "Shit!"

All he wanted was to get out of there but he couldn't think or hardly  
breath. He sat up, threw his legs over the side of the bed, and held his head  
in his hands as he thought about how much he had messed up his life. His head  
was throbbing. He tried to remember the night before but it was coming back in  
foggy snatches of memory.

They had sat on her couch, drank some wine, talked about Penelope and about  
Tamara getting in the middle of his relationship with his baby girl and  
then...

Just then Derek felt Tamara shift on the bed, signaling she was awake. He was  
about to get up when she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the back of  
his neck.

She said "Good morning, Agent."

"What the hell went down last night? How much did we have to drink?"

"I guess enough so you hardly remember, huh?"

He rubbed his head. "We didn't, did we?"

"We were kissing and getting there when you started crying about that cow of  
a girlfriend and passed out. You're welcome for me taking care of you. I'd  
do it anytime, honey."

Hearing a term of endearment come off her mouth made him want to throw up. He  
jumped up, grabbed his shirt and shoes and headed for the living room to look  
for the rest of his stuff. Tamara came running after him.

"Derek-"

"Don't! I never should have been here at all. I've got to get out of  
here. You don't get how bad this is for my life!"

"She doesn't trust you! She doesn't understand you like I do! You know  
this is where you belong."

"SHUT UP! You know NOTHING about Penelope."

"I don't need to know about her to know you belong here with me."

"I will never come back here and I will sure as hell will never BELONG to  
anyone but her. Let this go! I'll never sleep with you, do you hear me?  
Don't ever call me again. I love my girlfriend. Don't you get that?  
Didn't you hear what I said last night?"

"Yeah, I heard everything you said. You gave her your whole heart and she  
stomped on it. I would never treat you like that bitch did."

"Don't call her that! This is all on me. Not on her!"

"You don't need to cry over her anymore. I'll help you through this like you  
helped me through losing my brother. We always help each other, Derek. That's  
why we are perfect for each other."

"I'm out of here. Forget you ever met me because I sure will do my best to  
forget I ever let you into my life. I've crossed every line I believe in  
over you!"

"Because you can't deny we are good together. We had an instant  
connection." She tried to take him into her arms.

He felt repulsed by her touch. "I don't know how to be any damn clearer.  
I'm in love with someone else and I won't ever return your feelings. So  
let this GO!" He ran out of there still carrying his clothes, keys, wallet  
and phone.

His mind was in misery. Since he couldn't go home and risk seeing Penelope  
he went to the gym and worked out for a couple of hours then took a long  
shower. The whole time he was tormented with thoughts of the life he could  
have had with Penelope if he didn't revert to his childish, prideful,  
selfish ways and make so many mistakes.

In the break room he got some coffee but his mind was still back at the night  
before and the huge blowout fight with Penelope. And then he thought about how  
he kissed Tamara when he was drunk and blubbering on about Penelope.

Hotch interrupted his thoughts "Morgan?"

"What? Yeah. What's up?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

"If you need to talk-"

"I'm fine, Hotch. Drop it, okay?"

"You know where to find me if you change your mind," Hotch said before  
walking off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Penelope woke up that day she realized Derek was not in the bed. Not that  
she really thought he would come home after that kind of argument but a small  
part of her hoped he would slip into bed in the middle of the night, pull her  
close and show her that he would always come back even through the worst of  
disagreements.

That he needed to hold her to sleep. That he wanted to try and make it right.

But he hadn't done that and now she lay there alone. Glancing at the clock  
she realized she was late for work. Jumping out of bed she rushed to get  
ready. Then she gave Hotch a quick call so he would know she was running  
behind. After racing to work she headed straight for her office and started up  
her babies, determined to keep her mind off Derek and on her job till quitting  
time.

Since he had came in late she decided to go personally apologize to Hotch. She  
knew that everyone would be able to tell something was up with her though  
because she didn't fix herself up in her usual bright outfit, didn't do  
her hair in an elaborate style, didn't wear her stunning make-up, and had  
sunglasses on inside to hide her puffy eyes from all the crying she did the  
night before. Thinking it couldn't be helped if everyone noticed her misery  
she went to her boss's office.

Once she knocked he told her she could come in. One look at her and his face  
filled with worry.

Hotch greeted Penelope. "Garcia, morning, what can I do for you?"

"Sir, I just wanted to apologize for arriving late. It won't happen  
again." She tried to sound bubbly but she knew it fell flat.

"Don't worry about it. Everyone oversleeps sometimes. Why don't you come  
in and shut the door."

"Boss man?" she asked, not moving an inch.

He rose from his desk. "I'm concerned about you. Obviously something is  
bothering you today and if you would like to discuss it-"

"I really need to get back to work."

"Five minutes. If it affects you then I do care because you are an important  
part of this team. It would go no further than this room. Its clear something  
has happened."

"Sir, with all due respect, do not profile me! I am not one of your suspects  
in the interrogation room. Don't worry about my personal problems. Now, if  
its okay with you, I have work to do!" She rushed through the bullpen with  
everyone staring at her and slammed the door of her office once she got  
inside.

She left Hotch more shocked and worried than ever about her. But he knew he  
would have to wait for her to want to talk about whatever was bothering her.  
The team had their 10 am briefing. Since there was no new case everyone went  
in different directions. Rossi and Reid headed to the university to explain  
their craft and to encourage students to learn more about their craft. JJ went  
through all the cases on her desk to try and pick a new one for the team.  
Hotch finished up more paperwork before going to a meeting with Strauss to  
talk about the team's budget. He sent Derek and Emily to a prison to do an  
interview with a serial killer.

In the car Emily was so worried about Penelope that she brought it up to  
Derek. "Hey, don't bite my head off, but I can see you're not in the  
best of moods-"

"You're point?"

"And either is Penelope today."

"I don't know what you want me to say. She's pissed at me, okay?" he  
snapped at her.

"Listen, I know you don't want me in your business but I'm worried about  
Garcia, "said Emily, she hears Morgan sighed and she looked and she saw it  
tight.

"Listen, you're right Emily, its not your business!"

Prentiss looked shocked and then she said. "You saw her this morning! As  
soon as I saw her I knew something was wrong. She's not just your  
girlfriend. She is also my friend and she is part of our family. You need to  
fix this."

"I'm not talking about this with you. Keep your head on work, please!"

Meanwhile Penelope was in her office when she heard her phone ringing. In a  
lousy mood she answered it formally "Penelope Garcia, how may I help  
you?"

"Oh kitty, you answer the phone like that now? How mundane."

She was surprised to realize that it was an old friend from Los Angeles who  
she had not spoken to in a while. "Well it's been a long time! What have  
you been, my sweet lamb?"

"I'm still the same old me! Pen are you?"

"You know me, my life is too boring for words, other than my job as a tech  
kitten. How is Los Angeles treating you?"

"Good. Sam said to tell you hello." says Callen. Callen work for the Los  
Angeles NCIS, They have been friends in years. He has always been there when  
she needed it like a brother to her. Sam works with Cullen and is also  
friendly with Penelope. "When are you gonna come out here for some fun and  
sun? We miss our favorite tech kitten."

"Sounds like a very good idea especially as you miss me!" Then she started  
to cry.

"Penelope Garcia is wrong? Tell me. We have been friends for so long that  
you know you can trust me."

"You know me too well. Did you call just to hear my woes? Or I can do  
something for you?"

Sometimes she did searches for them if they were stuck. Cullen was more  
concerned with Penelope then any search so they chatted for an hour.

At the same time Tamara showed up in the foyer. Security wouldn't let her up  
without permission. Hotch had to come down and talk to her.

"Hello, Ms. Barnes, isn't it?"

"Yes, Agent...?"

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, right! Derek talks all about you. I remember meeting you during my  
brother's case."

"What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to see the Agent Morgan please?"

"He's currently in the field. It would be better if you contact him via  
his cell and wait for him to get back to you. He is actually rarely in the  
office and so its a waste of time to drop in."

"I don't mind. I could wait for him.:

"He won't be back for hours. I'll tell him you were here. Have a nice  
day, Ms. Barnes, and please remember to, in the future, contact Morgan outside  
of the office."

"Wait, please! I don't mean to be a bother but here," she pulled a  
necklace out of her pocket "Derek forget this at my home when he left this  
morning."

Hotch took the necklace. Looking at it he saw that it said Baby girl on it and  
had some dates. He tried to stifle his shock. "I will pass this along to  
him."

"But I'd like to see him. I don't mind waiting around, really. Its no  
bother."

"I explained already that is not possible at this time to visit Agent  
Morgan. He's in the field and not expected back for some time. Good day, Ms.  
Barnes." He walked away with a ticked off expression on his face


	12. Chapitre 12

Chapter 12

Aaron Hotchner walked through the bullpen with his back stiff and the necklace  
that Tamara Barnes gave him shoved in his pocket. A mixture of anger and worry  
coursed through him and most of all annoyance. How dare Morgan put him in this  
position! And how dare he, after all these years of friendship, hurt Penelope this way.

Not wanting to completely convict him without first hearing his side of the  
story Hotch tried to clamp down on his growing feeling of displeasure with the  
other agent. What Morgan did in his private life should be his own business  
but now it was affecting the office, because it was affecting the best tech  
person on the planet.

More than that Hotch personally liked Garcia and didn't want to see her  
hurt. He had heard all the rumors about Morgan but it never got to Hotch  
because he wrote it off as mostly big talk. To think Morgan was really that  
much of a dog didn't jive with his behavior other wise.

Though the way people acted in their sexual relationships was a complicated  
ball of wax and even the nicest person could have major issues in that realm.  
It was stuff he didn't want to know about the people he worked alongside.

It pissed him off that Morgan had let this mess follow him into the BAU. The  
reason for the frat rules were pretty clear, considering this, and yet Hotch  
hated to think of some rule that would keep two people deeply in love apart.  
But if Morgan loved Garcia like that he sure had a funny way of showing it.

Hotch went into his office- his face a hard, blank mask but his eyes  
flickering with anger-walked over to his desk, jerked open the door and  
dropped the necklace inside. He would take this up with Morgan when he got  
back from the prison where he had been sent to interview a serial killer.

And Morgan better learn his lesson this time. This kind of personal stuff  
needed to stay at home. Hotch was running the BAU not a daytime talk show!

Meanwhile Penelope was in her office. She had just gotten off the phone with  
Cullen, which helped to keep her mind off Derek for a while but now that she  
was trying to work again it was all flooding back. Tears came to her eyes.

She fought them off and got down to work. After a while she had all her  
assignments done. By that time she had calmed down enough to realize she  
shouldn't have snapped at Hotch earlier. It wasn't his fault that her and  
Derek were arguing.

Penolope went to her boss's office to apologize. Taking a deep breath she  
knocked on the door.

Hotch called out "Yes, come in." Once she does he asked her "Penelope,  
what can I do for you?"

His kind words cause a new flood of emotion as her eyes well again. She hates  
that she can't seem to go an hour with crying. It frustrates her to no end.  
She never thought being with Derek would hurt more than being without him ever  
did.

Hotch rose from his chair and walked around his desk. "Maybe you ought to  
take the rest of the day as personal time, Garcia," he said, in a gentle  
tone."

"No, I can work! I promise I can. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry  
about snapping at you this morning. I guess its pretty clear its just an all  
around sucky day for me."

"How about we get some coffee and try and turn it around?"

"Boss man, thank you but really you have work to do. I shouldn't waste  
anymore of your time."

"Garcia," he said firmly "get your coat. We are going to the coffee  
shop."

"Yes, sir."

During this time Derek and Emily had finished questioning the serial killer  
and they were heading back to the office. Derek was driving. His mind was not  
really on the road but on the mess he had made of his life. When he was deep  
in thought he had a tendency to finger the necklace Penelope gave him that  
said Always in my heart, love your baby girl and the date they met.

Absent mindedly he reached for it and found it wasn't there. Jerking to  
attention he cried "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

He pulled into a parking lot, got out and started to search the car which  
caused Emily to raise an eyebrow. "What are you looking for?"

"Leave it alone, Prentiss!" He got back in and took off again, squealing  
the tires.

Emily was getting more and more sick of working with this bear of a man today.  
"I've never seen you like this before! Get it together, will you? You're  
so ticked out today that steam might as well be coming out your ears."

"I'm not ticked off! You don't know what you are talking about. The only  
thing I want is to get back to the office and get this day done. Okay? So  
leave it go." Derek drove like a madman back to the office. He felt bad  
about losing his cool but the fear of losing Penelope's love had mad him  
crazed.

He didn't feel like himself at all. He felt like he was without his anchor  
in the world: his wonderful baby girl who deserved him to be a better man than  
he had behaved as so far. And now he may never get the chance to make it up to  
her.

XXXXXXXXX

Hotch and Garcia went to the coffee shop. They ordered and got a table. Hotch  
waited until Penelope started talking, knowing he needed to let her say  
whatever she felt like saying without trying to get anything out of her.

"Boss, I'm sorry about my earlier behavior. I understand if you are angry. I  
have no good excuse for my rudeness!" She stared nervously at her cup of  
coffee.

"Penelope, first of all, I am not here right now as your boss. I'm your  
friend. And, secondly, I'm not angry. I'm just very worried about you these  
days"

She raised her eyes to look and saw that it was true. He wasn't mad. Just  
concerned about her emotional outbursts and the pain she was obviously in.

Penelope sighed. "Hotch you know when there was this case just a few weeks  
back with the shootings in Washington? Remember how one of the sisters of the  
victims caused a scene at the police station?" Garcia asked. She waited for  
a sign from Hotch to continue. After he nods his head she explains how that  
woman was constantly calling Derek lately and it was putting a strain on  
things between them. But she left out the part of the huge fight they had, how  
he left the house and she hadn't seen him since."

"Penelope, you and Morgan must talk about this. I hate to see you this  
upset. You shouldn't have to keep fielding his phone calls from her. I know  
its not my place to judge but anyone would be justified if they felt complete  
frustration if they were in your shoes right now."

"It is not easy, boss man! This girl always finds a way to call him when I'm  
with him! And besides all that, but you're not going to say, I want to tell  
me, for some time I am not well and I think I might be pregnant!"

Hotch's eyes widened just a little and then he said, firmly, "You and  
Morgan have to hash this out before the situation becomes any more dire. I  
want you to take tomorrow off, if you need to, and discuss this with him. If  
we don't have a case we can get by without you two for a day. Whatever  
happens, down the road, you have my full support, Penelope, remember that  
please."

"Thank you, boss man." After a while they returned to the office.

Shortly after they returned to the office, Morgan and Prentiss came in. Hotch  
called Morgan to his office.  
"Have a seat," Hotch said, betraying no emotion. Then he went to his desk  
or drawer and took the necklace and handed it to him.

Morgan was suprised but relieved that he lost it at work and not at  
Tamara's. He stood up and took it back. "Thanks, man. Where did you find  
it." He goes to put it back on. He felt naked without it.

"I didn't find it. Ms. Barnes brought it in today."

"Hotch-" Derek wanted to say he was sorry for having that happen.

"Let me finish. She was very insistent that she wanted to see you. I had to  
tell her more than once that was impossible but it didn't seem to phase her.  
I don't think I need to explain to you the signs of what is going on with  
her. She is most likely suffering a break with reality due to the stressor of  
losing her brother. You, as a proffessional, should have recogonized that by  
now. There are reasons for the rules that are in place here. For some reason  
you think you shouldn't have to follow them though. I overlooked you  
breaking the frat rules-"

"You said you didn't have a problem with that!"

"I don't. But that is for Penelope's sake. Not yours. You're mistaken  
if you believe I would bend the rules so you can carry on office flings. I was  
under the impression this was a serious and committed relationship you've  
undertaken with Penelope. For that you would both have my full support and the  
support of this team, you know that, but to do...whatever it is you are  
doing....and have it come into the office place is unacceptable and, quite  
frankly, verging on unforgivable."

"Are you finished lecturing to me?"

"Keep up this attitude and you will not only lose Penelope, with good cause,  
you will be suspended and that will be just till I can put through the  
paperwork to have you replaced. This team is more than just a bunch of  
co-workers. We're a family. This is how you treat your family, Morgan? We  
deserve better than to have to be in the middle of the mess you made out of  
your personal life and Penelope certainly deserves better than this treatment!  
Now get out of my office and don't come back to work till you can work  
without any distractions!"

Morgan stormed out. He went home and found Penelope there. The tension was so  
thick you could cut it with a knife. Penelope was making dinner when he came  
in. He dealt with Clooney first, not speaking to her, but finally worked up  
the nerve to lean on the counter and say "That smells good, baby girl."

She gave him a weak smile. They ate dinner without discussing the fight. Derek  
fought back the urge to confess everything to her. He didn't want to rock  
the boat any further.

Penelope rambled on about getting a phone call today from an old friend who  
worked at Los Angeles at NCIS. She told Derek that she would love to go out to  
California for a visit. She said maybe it would do them good if they went  
together.

Derek said he would ask Hotch for the days off.

She said that first she needed to keep her appointment at the doctors.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "You feeling sick, mama?"

"Just a check up, handsome."

The next morning Morgan goes to see Hotch in his office. Hotch was aloof with  
Morgan. He simply said "That sounds fine. Fill out the needed forms for  
vacation time," when Morgan asked for the days off.

Meanwhile Penelope called Cullen and asked when would be a good time for her  
and Morgan to come out for a short stay.

"Need to get away, do you, Kitten?"

"More than ever. Things are on pretty thin ice lately around here. I feel  
like I just might slip through and drown if some things don't change  
soon."

"Come and see us. We'll wash those worries right out of your hair."

"If only it was that easy. Thanks. I can't wait to get away. I really need  
it."

That night Penelope and Derek once again ate dinner, watched TV and went to  
bed without talking about the issues that were swirling around them. Things  
were shaky between them but neither wanted to risk another blow out fight so  
they didn't bring up what really needed to be said.

It couldn't go on this way forever but both feared what would happen if they  
broached the dreaded subject. Would talking lead to screaming and screaming  
lead to a total break up?

That kind of worry kept both their mouths from saying what was weighing on  
their minds.


	13. Chapitre 13

Chapter 13

The next morning, when Derek begins to wake up, he felt Penelope in those  
arms. That moment was the most right he had felt in days. It strengthened his  
decision to fight for her to stay his and not let her slip away because of the  
emotional turmoil swirling between them. He vowed to fight for their love as  
if his very life depended on it.

He closed his eyes for a few minutes just to relish the feeling of having her  
in his arms.

XXXXXXXX

When Penelope stirred awake she found herself wrapped tight in her lover's  
arms. For the first time since the last time he held her she once again felt  
safe and loved. It wasn't that she had forgetten about the mess with Tamara,  
about fighting with Derek, about slapping him or crying all during work. She  
certainly hadn't forgetten the crazy premonitions she kept getting that  
everything was about to fall apart around her. That she couldn't keep Derek  
no matter how hard she tried.

But being in his arms made her able to, for that one minute, relax and take  
comfort in how he made her feel protected. If only she could stay within the  
warm embrace of his arms forever.

XXXXXXXX

Derek opened his eyes when he felt Penelope wake up. Pressing a kiss to her  
head he said "Morning, baby girl."

She turned in his arms to be face him. "Morning, beautiful.".

Their eyes held for a long, tender moment. She was surprised when Derek kissed  
her. Though things were better the last two days between them it still felt  
like they were tip toeing around each other. Maybe the trip to California  
would be what they needed to put the past pain behind them and reconnect.

Smiling she said "You ready for fun and sun, Hot Stuff? Doing it up Cali  
style like I used to do back when I was a young fine fox."

"You're still a young, fine fox in my book."

"That's the only book that matters to me."

"That's what I love to hear."

She smiled at him. "I can't wait for you to meet Callen and Sam. Be nice  
to them, baby. In their own ways they have gotten me through some stuff  
through the years."

"How long have you been tight with them?"

"Let me think...Callen over ten years and Sam about half that. But its not  
like I get back to California very much. Its mainly that they call me for work  
stuff and we catch up when we can."

"Its just weird you never brought them up before."

"I guess there are some parts of me that are still a mystery," she teased  
playfully before giving him a quick kiss and darting out of bed to go get a  
shower.

Laying there after she left Derek wondered if she was actually such good  
buddies with these two guys then why was he just hearing about them now? And  
why didn't they show up or at least send some flowers when Penelope was  
shot?

He knew he had a tendency to not trust any man he didn't know around his  
baby girl. He worried she would somehow be hurt by some guy and he wouldn't  
be there to stop it. But, this time around, if she was getting emotionally  
beaten down by anyone Derek had to admit it was him.

He let out a long breath. How the hell did he get in so deep so fast with  
Tamara? Was it really all just his stubborn way to show Penelope he could  
handle being Tamara's friend. That she was wrong to worry. That he had it  
all under control and could be trusted.

But he didn't have it under control. And he broke her trust. Just because he  
kept trying to be helpful to Tamara. Did his hero complex make him push the  
limits? Was it that he didn't yet know how to draw lines to protect his new  
relationship with Penelope?

What led him astray? Just his own hubris and stupidity? Would Penelope take  
that as a good enough excuse? Was there any?

He had kissed another chick. He still felt sick over it. All he wanted was for  
Penelope to never know and yet he also wanted to be completely honest. He  
couldn't have it both ways. He didn't want to tell her just to make  
himself feel better though. If he told her about kissing Tamara and sleeping  
next to her then it had to be because that would make their relationship  
stronger, more honest and give them a better chance of lasting. If he was  
going to break them then Derek would rather take the secret, and his shame, to  
his grave.

He couldn't give up Penelope now. Right or wrong he'd do any desperate  
thing to make her stay in love with him. But were lies of omission really the  
cost of keeping her now? How had he messed up this bad? How could she ever  
understand? Derek didn't even get it.

He forced himself to shut down his mind's worrisome thoughts and went to  
make Penelope breakfast. She eventually came out to join him. They ate in  
silence. The tension was back, seemingly out of nowhere, but now he was  
getting used to their vibe being all off-kilter.

He hated that he had done this to them. To her.

When they were leaving the house Derek's phone rang. One glance at it and he  
winced. Tamara Barnes name mocked him. His jaw clenched up in frustration. He  
shot Penelope an apologetic glance before hitting ignore on his phone and  
shoving it in his pocket.

Penelope's eyes closed. She let out a couple of steadying breaths. When her  
eyes snapped back open it was clear that taking that moment hadn't helped  
any. She yelled at him "So its never gonna stop with her, is it?!"

He just stood there in miserable silence. Penelope walked away in a huff and  
got in the car. Derek slammed his hand on the wall before he followed her.

The whole way to work they didn't speak. Derek's thoughts were tormented.  
Penelope had made a doctor's appointment and he feared she was sick over  
this. Over him. That he was actually doing her body physical harm. That his  
love was that harmful!

He was trying to calm down so he could focus on work but right when he parked  
his phone signaled that he had a text. He didn't even want to look at it so  
he just ignored it. If it was a case Penelope would get a text too and she  
didn't.

Penelope snapped at him. "Look at how messed up this is! You can't even  
check your phone when I'm around. This is just......" her voice got teary.  
She got out of the car and walked into work, leaving Derek sitting there  
feeling frustrated and broken hearted.

The day for him didn't improve any when he was working. Hotch was distant  
and Derek could only imagine that was fueled by not only anger by  
disappointment in Derek's reckless choices and stubborn, angry behavior  
lately. The rest of the team suffered from the tension.

To top it off Tamara phoned about fifty times, convincing Derek she had mental  
problems. What would happen if she started calling Penelope or, worse, went to  
see her to tell her how "Derek and I belong together! We had an instant  
connection. I felt it in his kiss how he loves me and hates you, you cow."

Derek rubbed his hand over his head and prayed that never happened. He  
couldn't wait till Penelope and him were in California where maybe they  
could work things out, get strong again, and then no secret or other woman  
could tear them apart.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Penelope's heart raced when she spoke to the nurse on the phone. "You're  
sure? Eight weeks?....Oh my. Okay, thank you!....Yes, I'll schedule an  
appointment just as soon as I get back from my trip. I'm going out of town  
for a short vacation....Okay, yes, I understand...Garcia out...I mean, good  
bye!"

She lay her head on her desk. Pregnant. The timing couldn't be worse. She  
couldn't even imagine telling Derek this today. Not after that scene this  
morning.

She would wait till they were in California, having a nice dinner or romantic  
evening, and make it special for him. No matter what problems they were having  
there would only be one chance to do this right- to tell him he was going to  
be a Daddy.


	14. Chapitre 14

Chapter Fourteen

They sat on the plane waiting for it to take off. Penelope took Derek's hand and rested her head on his shoulder. Derek brushed a kiss to the top of the head and squeezed her hand. They stayed like this for a while before Penelope let go of his hand and took out a book to read. When the pilot announced they would be landing soon Penelope felt a sense of peace wash over her, as if somehow she knew that this trip with Derek would be their saving grace.

She didn't want to believe they would fall apart when they had a baby on the way. She wanted to believe in their love, their friendship, their history and their future. Penelope stared adoringly at Derek. He leaned over and gave her a sensual and sweet kiss. Then he rested his head against hers. They stayed like that for a long moment, lost in each other.

This trip needed to be used to heal all the pain between them. Penelope couldn't imagine anything else happening. She just couldn't face the possibility they wouldn't work out. Her heart was emptying all its feel and toxic energy and once again filling with faith, love and trust for her handsome prince.

He made mistakes but he always made it right in the end. She needed to believe Derek would do that this time. For her sake, his and the sake of their baby.

XXXXXXXXX

Once they finally got off the plane, they headed back to get their luggage and then headed outside. On the sidewalk, when Penelope was looking around for her old friends, she heard a man ask "Hey is there a hot blonde here who needs a ride?"

Spinning around she saw Callen standing there with a big smile on his face. Penelope grinned and jumped in his arms. "Hello, stud muffin, you are just as cute as ever!"

Watching this Derek felt jealousy sting him because Penelope was glowing over this other guy. Penelope remained in Callen's arms for a minute or two, as they chatted and caught up. Derek let out a muted grunt of displeasure because this guy was not letting go of his girlfriend.

Penelope untangled herself from her old friend and introduced him to Derek.

Callen teased Penelope "So what brings you out this way? Big case catching serial killers who drown their victims in Fruit Loops," he named a popular cereal.

"Not this time," Penelope said, which he knew very well. "This trip is pure pleasure devoted to spending lots of time with my favorite surfer boy."

Callen kissed her cheek. "I'm your only surfer boy."

Derek started to fume. Was Penelope flirting with this guy? He threw Callen a dirty look."

"So, surfer boy, whisk me and my princess away to our hotel, please. I could use to shower and change before dinner. You don't mind meeting up later, do you? We're getting a rental at a location near the hotel so we can drive to the restaurant ourselves and get around while we're here."

"Forget the hotel and the rental. You'll come stay with me and use my car. I'll use my motorcycle. That way we can hang out as much as possible. Its not like you get out this way often."

Penelope looked at Derek. He had been looking forward to alone time in their hotel. She asked "Would that be all right, handsome?"

"Sure, baby girl. Whatever you want works for me." He really wasn't in the position to do anything but make this trip her dream come true, if he wanted to hang onto her. And Derek did want that. More than anything he wanted his future to be with Penelope.

Hearing his answer, she smiled and gave him a kiss. It was short but sweet and made Derek think he had been stupid to be jealous of Callen. Feeling that brief flash of jealousy though, and how sick it made him inside, only served to remind him of what Penelope went through over Tamara getting tangled up in their lives.

He should have never let that woman into their world or ever risked hurting his baby girl. She shouldn't have to feel jealousy or worry if Derek was all hers. She should know she was his one and only.

He would use this trip to make sure she did.

XXXXXXXXXX

When they made it to Callen's place Penelope started to fret. "Are you sure you want us to stay here cause we can still go to the hotel? We have a reservation already."

Callen smiled. "Don't say hotel again. You're crashing here."

"I just don't want us to be in your or Sam's way."

Callen teased "Or you don't want us to hear how loud you get at night with your man?"

Penelope blushed. "Where is Sam? I'm going to have him kick your butt for that comment."

"Sam's still at work. And he can't kick my ass."

"With those muscles I bet he could and not even get winded."

"I'm too fast for him. He has brawn but I got speed on my side." Callen laughed.

Derek felt like a third wheel. He just hung back and stayed quiet. Callen took them up to their room and showed them inside.

Callen said "I've got to run back to work for a while but I'll be back in a few hours with some dinner. Make yourself at home you two."

Once he was gone Penelope pulled Derek close and asked "Wanna make the most of our time alone, Hot Stuff?"

"You know I do, mama."

They started kissing and soon they were making love, trying to mend all the pain and heartache that had formed between them back in Virginia.

Later, while Penelope slept, Derek held her in his arms marveling at how right it still felt to make love to her even with all the pain that was between them. Having her in his arms still felt right and good. His love for her was still beautiful in every way but the way he felt about himself was. As the minutes went by he started to silently berate himself for keeping secrets from her.

He could not help but feel dirty, dishonest, uncomfortable, sad, angry and still full of emotions over all that had happened between him and Tamara. He was angry more than anything for all that had happened, he was remorseful, so it hurt him. But he wanted more than anything to sort things out between him and Penelope. He knew they had work to do in their relationship. Even though he had managed to escape from the situation and would never talk to or see Tamara again, if he could avoid it, he will always have to live with knowing he had kissed her.

Tears came to his eyes. Spooning Penelope he hugged her a little tighter. "I love you, baby girl. You're the best thing that ever happened to me," he whispered.

His words woke her up. She looked over her shoulder and noticed the tears in his eyes. Turning she cupped a hand to his cheek and said "Hello there, love of my life! " Then she gently pressed a kiss to his lips.  
He kissed the top of her head. "Hello, baby girl. You slept well?" He put a lightness in his voice that he didn't feel. He had spent a good hour just thinking about the mess he made out of his life, but worse than that, out of Penelope's life. His love was supposed to be a good thing for her but his pridefulness had caused him to make mistake after mistake.

"You know, handsome, that I always sleep well in your arms." Noticing the look in his eyes hers filled with concern "You okay, honey?"

He kissed her. "Mmm, perfect. Just thinking about how I wanna take you out for a walk on the beach before your friends get back for dinner?"

"Do you think we have time?"

"If you get your cute butt moving we do."

With a smile she got out of bed, grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "We'll have to share a shower to conserve time and water. You know California is known for its water shortages. We better shower together for the whole trip, for the sake of the enviorment."

He chuckled. She could always make him feel better, even if she didn't know what was bringing him down.

Soon they were walking along the beach, eating gelato that they bought from a vendor, and enjoying watching the sun start to set over the ocean. After a while they sat on the sand. Derek sat with Penelope between those legs, his back still rested Derek's chest.

For a long while they just stayed that way, barely talking, but feeling at peace with each other and the beautiful place they were visiting. Finally Penelope phone rang. Callen wanted to know where they went off to, since the car was still there, and if they were coming back for dinner soon.

When they got back to the house Penelope was wrapped in a tight hug by Sam. Derek watched this and tried to fight off his jealousy. He knew that Penelope was the type of person who attracted love wherever she went because she was so sweet and pure of heart. She lit up at the sight of Sam and they started to chat and catch up.

Penelope looked as happy quite happy as a child on Christmas day about to open these gifts. As long as she was happy Derek was happy too. This trip was helping them to remember what it was supposed to feel like when they were together as a couple. No pain. No fighting. No secrets.

Just joy.


	15. Chapitre 15

Chapter 15

Morning sickness caught up with Penelope the next day. She crept from bed and  
down the hall to the bathroom, trying to be as quiet as she could in her haste  
to get there so as not to wake up the guys. She stayed sitting on the bathroom  
floor even after she threw up as she tried to let the feeling as being  
nauseous pass.

The door was slightly cracked because she had rushed in there. Before she had  
gathered her strength to stand up she heard a man speaking to her from the  
doorway.

"Penelope? You okay?" Sam asked =

"Just fine!"she called out with a forced cheery tone right before she threw  
up again.

"I know just what you need to settle that stomach. Meet me in the kitchen  
when you feel up to it."

She heard Sam walking away. Later when she went to the kitchen he had prepared  
her some herbal tea and some wheat crackers were sitting on a plate next to  
her mug. He even gave her a shoulder rub as she sipped her tea and ate her  
crackers.

She told him "You're so good to me. I should come out her more often if  
this is the amazing treatment I get from you and Cal. I'm really sorry if I  
woke you up this morning."

"Don't be sorry. Though I wondered how long you were planning to not say  
anything. Congratulations, Pen!"

"Uh..." she stumbled, not wanting to lie about being pregnant but not  
wanting to tell Sam before she told Derek.

"You're glowing. That tipped me off even before the morning sickness and  
how you got pale because of the smells from dinner last night."

She forced a smile. "You're quite the dectective but I can neither confirm  
or deny your theories."

"Okay," he said with a big smile "you keep in on the down low for now  
but," he brushed a kiss on her temple "just know I'm happy for you."

Callen came strolling into the room. "Hey guys! Can I join this party or is  
it just for you two?" he joked. "Sam, move over, you know the rules. When  
there is a hot blonde in this house you have to share her with me."

"Ha!" Sam said. "They never want you when they can have a piece of all  
this,"he motioned at himself.

Penelope and Callen rolled their eyes in a teasing way. Soon the guys headed  
off to work, after getting a promise from Penelope that she would stop by  
their office later to meet their boss, and Penelope went back to the bedroom  
she was sharing with Derek.

When she entered the room Derek was still sleeping. Seizing the opportunity to  
join him in bed, she began to caress and kiss everywhere all over his naked  
torso. Derek came awake. He loved being woken by his Baby Girl and no one  
else. Derek looked down and brought his mouth to hers. They remained like this  
for a few minutes before the two began to talk.

"Hello, baby girl."

"Hello to you too, my God carved in chocolate."

"What do you wanna do today? I'm up for whatever. Just so my girl has the best  
vacatation she can."

"Any vacation with you is always the best. Especially when we're in a great  
big bed together with no one around to hear you when I make you scream."

Derek kissed her again. "Is that what you want to spend today doing then?" he  
flirted. "Making me scream?"

"No just my morning," she purred at him. "Once I leave you exhausted I'm  
heading down to the boy's is unless you might wanna join mama, Hot  
Stuff? The boys want me to meet their boss, Hetty. I'm not sure if I should  
let any other woman get around my sexy noir hero though," she teased. "This  
trip you are all," Penelope ran her finger down his chest "mine."

"That makes me the luckiest man on the planet to have a stunning Goddess like  
you belonging all to me."

"You're a flatterer, Derek Morgan, and you know it!"

"All I know is you're the best," he said as he captured her lips in a kiss.  
They started to make love. Later they took a shower together and then dressed  
for that day.

After a leisurely breakfast they used Callen's car to drive to his and Sam's  
workplace. Callen had warned that his boss Hetty could be a severe and no  
nonsense type woman so Penelope didn't know if she would be friendly. Her  
fears were unwarranted because it turned out that Hetty took one look at  
Penelope and smiled from ear to ear.

Derek suggested that Hetty join them that evening for dinner. That night they  
went out to a resturant and had a great time. When they left Penelope and  
Derek were walking hand in hand. The moment was tranquil and sweet.

It was hard to believe that less than a week ago they had been fighting every  
day. Penelope wanted her and Derek's relationship to always feel like it did  
in California. When thoughts of Tamara crept in her mind she pushed them  
away.

That woman had no place on this trip.


	16. Chapitre 16

Chapter 16

Penelope had a wonderful time out to dinner with Derek, Sam, Callen and the rest of their team.  
When they arrived back at the house Sam asked "What do you all say to a night cap before we hit the sack?"

Being pregnant had left Penelope more tired that usual so she said "My gorgeous stud muffins, I had a lovely time tonight but I'm wiped out. So this is good night for me." Then she looked at Derek and said "Baby, I'm going to grab a shower before bed. Don't feel like you need to cut your night short though." She gave him a tender kiss.

"All right," Derek answered "I"ll stay up a bit longer. But if you need anything, sweetheart, you let me know. I'm at your beck and command this trip, woman."

She gave Sam and Callen a smile and said "He's always at my beck and command. And that makes me one very lucky Goddess."

After Penelope went to bed the guys sat drinking beers and watching a movie. Derek asked "When did you two meet Penelope?"

Sam answered first "We met in a bar. She was the coolest chick I had ran into in a long while. Back then I was used to dealing with chicken heads but Penelope was way different. Before we knew it we were good friends. Then when I joined my current unit I told her about who I was working with and found out she already knew Cal." He smiled then and Derek felt that old familiar jealousy rear its ugly head. Sam made it sound like Callen and Penelope used to be lovers."

Derek gave Callen a raised eyebrow that asked for him to explain.

He chuckled in a way that only made Derek more suspicions and jealous before saying "Pen and me have a long history!"

Derek asked "That started when? She never mentioned you to me before she said she wanted to come out here."

Callen took a drink of his beer and didn't answer. Sam jumped in to say "Don't bother, man. Neither him or Penelope will talk about how they met. Its some big secret. I've tried to get it out of them but no luck."

To change the subject Callen said to Derek "Listen, we would like to know if tomorrow you want to come with us at work? Just to make the profile of the guy we're looking for. It could help us break the case."

Derek asked "I thought you have a profiler on your team already?"

"Couldn't hurt to have a fresh set of eyes on it," Callen answered. "Besides you could probably teach him a thing or two. What do you say?"

"Sure, no problem." Derek sipped his beer.  
Later on Derek ended up slipping into the room he was sharing with Penelope. He hated how he felt inside. Whatever went on or did not go on between Penelope and Callen was over for a decade now, probably, since that is how long it had been since Penelope lived in California. But still Derek felt jealous over it and over not knowing if he was staying in the home of her former lover.

He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. Maybe he had just drank too much tonight because he felt horrible. A moment later he felt Penelope wrapping her arms around him from behind.

She must have sensed his distress because she asked "Baby, what's bothering you?"

"Sometimes I think too much for my own good. Don't worry about me, sweetheart."

"Is this about Tamara?"

"What? Why would you bring her up? I thought we left that mess back home. Don't worry. She hasn't called me again and she won't be, okay?" He hated how she had jumped to that conclusion. Tamara was the last person he ever wanted to think about again. He wished he could forget he ever met her.

"Okay, so what's wrong?" Penelope prodded

"I've just realize that there are many things that I do not know about you," he knew he sounded a little lost and he felt that way too. "I thought I knew you better than this, girl."

"Honey, you know me very well- "

"I didn't even know about your friends out here till last week. You never talked about Callen, Sam and Hetty. You never told me how much you're a close with them. Its like you have a whole part of you I know nothing about at all."

Hearing this she got out of bed, walked around it and sat next to him. She cradled his face and made him look at her "Listen to me, you know me and I know you but there are things you do not know and there are things that I do not know about you either. But if you ask me anything I'll answer it honestly. I don't know why this is all of a sudden an issue with you now instead of when I first mentioned this trip. What's bringing this on now?"

"Sam just said some things that didn't sit right with me. You have a past with Callen?" The way he said past made it clear he meant that they were lovers.

"Derek, the operative word there is past. Its not a big deal and its not the present. In the present I am in love with you and love you more than I've ever loved anyone else before."

He kissed her and they started to make love, him claiming her as his body, heart and soul. They kept waking up several times through the night to make love over and over. Soon it was morning and they were rushing to shower and dress to go to work with the guys. Derek asked Penelope is they could have dinner alone that night.

He needed some private time with just his baby girl.

They made their way into work with Sam and Callen. Derek was in a much better mood than the night before. Making love with Penelope had eased his jealousies and worries about her and Callen. Things were going great that morning until his phone buzzed. He had it on vibrate.

Glancing at it he grimaced when he saw the text was from Tamara. It said: I miss kissing you.


	17. Chapitre 17

Chapitre 17

I miss kissing you.

That was the text Tamara Barnes sent to Derek when he was at NCIS's Los Angeles office. He quickly closed his phone and shoved it back in his pocket. The last thing he needed was Penelope to know that Tamara was bothering him again. Especially now since him and Penelope were starting to get back on stable ground again.

No use risking ruining their vacation over Tamara's nonsense.

Derek had felt bad for the woman, who was obviously emotionally fragile and going through a hard time, but the more she bothered him the more he started to not care about her problems and she get pissed. He couldn't let her ruin his happy life with Penelope. They had waited so long to be together. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with his baby girl.

Tamara couldn't mess that up and either could Derek worrying about Tamara's feelings for one more second of his life. He had gotten in way over his head with her and he would regret that forever. The kisses they had shared were a betrayal of Penelope's love for him. He wondered if she would even still love him if she found out. He couldn't ruin this trip for her by telling her about it now.

She deserved all the beautiful memories she could get of this vacation. He owed her that and so much more after all the ways he had hurt her.

Penelope was caught up in a conversation with Callen so she didn't notice Derek on his phone. He walked nearer to her and placed his hand on her back. She smiled up at him and then said to Callen "I do believe that you brought my god carved in chocolate down here to do a profile for you."

Derek eased both arms around her waist. "You are so right, mama. I'm gonna hate being away from my girl for even five minutes though." He gave her a sweet kiss on her forehead. She turned in his arms and kissed his lips.

Her soulful kiss made him forget they had an audience until Callen coughed.

Derek forced himself to pull back. Penelope's cheek tinted with a soft pink blush.

He let her slide from his arms. Looking at Callen he said "Lets get down to work so I can get back to my girl's side as quick as possible."

Callen said "Right this way," and motioned down a hall.

Penelope flirted with Derek. "Take your time, Hot Stuff. That kiss you just gave me should keep me tingling for hours."

He chuckled and gave her a tender smile before following after Callen who took him to an adjoining room, that had a glass one way window, to an interrogation room where a prisoner had been brought. He watched with Nate as Sam and Callen conducted the interview. After a while Derek did some early findings on his profile. When he was done he turned back on his phone and saw that he had missed a call. He listened to the message:

Hello, Derek, I tried to reach you and I can not. I'm worried that you could be hurt or, worse, just ignoring me. Please don't ignore me. I've gone to your job but they wouldn't allow me upstairs and they claim you aren't in town. You aren't making them lie to me, are you? I need to see you very badly. You can not imagine the ideas going through my head whenever I have fantasies about you. I'm so wet over you. You would feel so good inside my tight heat. I just need for you to call me, baby. I'm so filled with love for you. We share a connection. Remember? You said so yourself! Don't turn your back on me, baby. I'm here naked and waiting for you. Touching myself and thinking of you. Please call me!

Once it has finished reading his message, Derek had to sit because he was not feeling very well. He could not help but feel even more disgusted, dirty, dishonest, uncomfortable, sad, angry and ashamed. More than that he felt guilt over all he had done to Penelope by letting Tamara in their eyes. He closed his eyes and sighed. He was surprised when someone touched his shoulder. Opening his eyes he saw Nate holding out a cup of coffee for him.

Nate asked "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. I'm pretty wiped out right now." He tried to feign as if everything was fine. Although inside that was really not the case at all.

He feared that if Penelope knew just how far it went with Tamara and that the woman wouldn't leave him alone then Penelope would get so upset she would dump him on his ass. Never forgive him again for all his stupid, prideful, reckless mistakes.

He didn't think he could risk telling her the truth. Though he was remoseful and wanted completely honest between them he felt he should carry this burden on his own. He caused this mess. Only he should suffer over it.

His baby girl didn't deserve to be stuck in hell just cause Derek had been an ass.

Nate said "Well, I hope the caffeine helps then, man." He handed him a cup of steaming coffee.

"Thanks." Derek let out a long sigh before he sipped the coffee. He later gave Nate, Sam and Callen what he had started on his profile but told him he would have to learn more about the unsub to give them a full profile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile Penelope and Hetty were talking while they shared steaming hot cups of Earl Grey tea. Their laughter could be heard drifting out of the kitchen area and down the hallway.

After a while Penelope brought up something that was weighing on her mind. "You know, last night when we came back, Derek stayed up with their boys after I went to bed. He asked how they knew me. Sam told him how we had met and then he mentioned how did not Callen nobody knows how Callen and I met. That's it supposedly a great big mystery and that everyone on this team had tried everything to make us say how we met, but we never said anything to anyone. Derek told me all this when he came to our room. He thinks I don't trust him but that couldn't be further from the truth. Its just that what happened with me and Callen always seemed too private to share with anyone. It was a long time ago and its stayed something just between the two of us since then. I never thought it was a big deal I didn't tell Derek. But now I'm wondering if it is because I'd still rather not tell him. Is that wrong?"

Hetty looked at her carefully and told her "To be honest I did research your past after the rumors swirled about you and Callen sharing a sordid history but I never found anything. I didn't mean to invade your privacy. Its just with having all these resources at my fingertips its near impossible to not use them to my full advantage. I did wonder if you were the love of Callen's life that got away but now that I see you with Callen I can see that whatever you two shared is completely in the past."

"It is. I just wish Derek could believe that one hundred percent. I should have been more honest with him about Callen over the years. Keeping secrets, even when I thought it was no big deal, hasn't helped to build the trust between Derek and I. And, more than anything, I want us to have complete trust between us. This is all my fault that he is worried about what happened. I never even told him about Callen or Sam till last week!"

"Well then of course he is confused and concerned. He may be wondering if you hide other important parts of your life from him. Its clear how important Callen is to you."

"Yes he is important but Derek is also important. But I also know there are tons of things I do not know about Derek. I want us to know everything about each other. I guess that has to start with me opening myself up even more, hoping if he feels like he knows all of me then he will show me all of him."


	18. Chapitre 18

Chapter 18

The team found Penelope and Derek's help invaluable that day. Derek determined that the suspect more than likely had a partner. Penelope was able to do her magic on the computer to find the likely name of that person.

After she had given the team the name of the suspect Callen said "My angel's heart, are you sure you can't move here and work with us? We could sure use your magic touch around here."

"My magic touch is too much for you to handle," she joked with him.

The rest of the team looked on in surprise by the intense rapport that existed between them. They had never seen this side of Callen before. He never let down so much of his gaurd with his other friends and colleagues. They realized that there really was something deep and sincere between himself and Penelope.

She had such a gift of being able to open him up and read him like a book. To break past all his defenses. But it was not love there that was between them, there was no romantic feelings lingering in the air, only true and real friendship. It was good to see Callen so vulnerable and real with someone. Penelope was good for him in every way.

Derek picked that moment to stake his claim on Penelope in his alpha dog way. Walking up behind her, he enveloped her in his arms and murmured "Its not too much for me to handle, mama."

The sexy growl in his voice made her blush. The whole team gave them wide eyes at Derek's flirty behavior.

The nearby computer beeped, signaling that it had came up with a location for the cellular phone that their suspect had in his name. Penelope told them what she knew and then sent the information to all of the team member's phones, so they would have it out in the field when they left, and they started to get ready to go.

She said "Well, guys I know it's your job but be careful. I hope you get this guy so you can have a day off. I wanna be able to spend time with each of you guys."

"There's no hacker better than you," Callen told her as he headed out the door. "Thanks."

"Its what I do," she said with a big smile. When they were gone she looked at Derek. "Not too much for you to handle, huh? Well get over here and prove it, Hot Stuff."

It was her vacation and that meant his lips should be on hers as much as humanely possible. The kiss he gave her was one of possession, his body pressed taunt against hers, and his arms wrapping her tight as if he would never let go.

She prayed he would always kiss her with as much passion. And that when he heard they had a baby on the way that he would want the same future she did: them together always with no one else getting between them. No one there with them but their baby...or babies...because she knew that if there could be anything better than having one child by Derek Morgan that it was having two.

XXXXXXXXX

That evening she decided to surprise Derek with the dress she was wearing so she told him he couldn't shower in their bathroom or dress in the same bedroom as her.  
Derek grabbed shower and shaved in the guest bathroom downstairs and once he was dressed he sat on the couch to wait for his baby girl to be ready for dinner. Sitting there he tried to quiet his mind, enjoying the solitude of the house and the fact that Sam and Callen were still on a case, and did his best to wipe away all worries about Tamara Barnes injecting herself any further into his life with Penelope.

Derek would love it if he could never hear that woman's name again. But he knew that wasn't possible. Even if he didn't tell Penelope while they were on vacation all he had done with Tamara he would have to, at some point, fess up if that woman wouldn't leave him alone.

He was so frustrated over the situation. Flipping on the TV he watched the news and tried to keep his mind clear of any thoughts but how he would have a great evening out with his sweetheart. This vacation needed to go perfectly so Penelope would have good memories that might get her through any hard times ahead.

Derek owed her that much at least.

XXXXXXXX

Penelope took a good long shower hot. This was the nights he planned to tell him they had a child on the way.  
She tried to ignore that all her strange and ominous feelings and hunches remained in the back of her mind. And that resentment still held tight to her heart that Derek had ever let Tamara get close to him, even as a friend. Why did he have to be a hero to her? Wasn't being Penelope's hero enough.

But that was over now. Derek had pushed that woman out of their world. It was all behind them now. This vacation was going well and she needed to focus on that and focus on their baby growing inside of her. Their child should feel no tension. Whatever she felt the baby felt so she had to stay positive.

Forty five minutes later she emerged from the shower and soon was dressed in a red dress that was backless and had a neckline that was V-shaped. It plunged between her breasts. The dress clung like a second skin over her breasts but was looser around the waist and stopped just above her knees. Under the dress she wore a white corset with a thong and suspender belts attached to the corset. She slipped on stilettos that were the same shade of red as her dress.

She went to the bathroom to put her makeup and her hair. The hairstyle she had a bun with strands of hair that was falling down her face. She slipped on long diamond drop earrings. She took her bag and a little white jacket with her and then she slowly made her way down the stairs.

Seeing her Derek rose from the couch. His eyes raked over her. He appeared at a loss for words, stunned by her beauty. Penelope warmed under his admiring eyes.

In those eyes she could see lust, love, desire, need and hunger.

Without saying a word he stalked toward her, cupped her face in his hands and gave her a passionate kiss. When breathing became necessary again Derek rested his forehead against hers and waited to regain a normal breathing. After a long moment he whispered "I love you very much, baby girl. You know that, right?"

Looking into his eyes she saw that love reflected on his face. A deep yearning for a life with her and also fear that it would never be theirs to share. But it would be. She would just have to make this man who had such a hard time trusting in God, fate, and love to find enough trust in her to see that he could believe in those other things too.

"I love you just as much, sweetness," she said back.

"You look amazing tonight."

"So do you, handsome." She turned to leave his arms as she said "We should go before we miss our reservation-"

But he kept her in his embrace and kissed her again until her body started to heat up under the tender assault his mouth was wrecking over hers. Her nipples became tight buds in need of relief and she could feel his hardness pressing to her stomach showing he was just as turned on as her at the moment.

She nipped at his lip and pulled back. "Hot Stuff, are you trying to make it so we don't get to dinner tonight?"

He stepped away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Mmm, as good as that sounds I do wanna give my girl a night on the town so lets go, baby, before I forget all my good intentions and just carry you upstairs and ravish you till morning."

"Now that would be way better than a night out on the town!"

"Silly girl, lets go. They won't hold our table forever."

"Yes, Sir Derek, if you insist. Though this dress is just aching to hit the dress."

He chuckled. "Oh yeah? It told you that, did it?"

"It speaks all the time. What it says most is:: Rip me off, you chocolate God of thunder!"

He kissed her forehead. "Later, sweetheart, I promise."

"My love, I will hold you to that promise."

They left for dinner shortly afterwards. It was a night Penelope hoped Derek would remember for the rest of his life. The night he learned, for the first time, he was now a father. Even if their baby was unborn still she felt different than she had before she was pregnant. She felt like a Mom already.

And soon he would now he was a Dad.


	19. Chapitre 19

Chapter 19

Derek had a hard time keeping his eyes on the roads and his hands off Penelope on the way to the restaurant. Seeing her always had a strong effect on him but tonight it seemed to be even more pronounced. The dress she wore hugged her beautiful curves in all the right ways and the memories of their kisses before they left Callen and Sam's place still lingered in Derek's mind making his blood pump thick and hot with hunger for her.

There seemed to be something magical in the air between them tonight. Already he could hardly wait for dinner to be over so he could take her back to the house and make love to her. Worship her body the way she deserved to be worshiped.

Penelope was feeling the magic herself that night. The way Derek kept sneaking peeks at her had her body throbbing for his touch. It felt good to have some alone time on this vacation. She loved Sam and Callen but she needed private time with her sexy God of chocolate thunder. A chance for romance outside of the bedroom. A chance to tell him about the beautiful future they would be sharing together.

After they arrived at the restaurant he helped her out of the car, his dark eyes holding hers lovingly, then tucked her against his side as they made their way inside and to their table.

They sat down and Derek ordered a bottle of wine.

Penelope let out a shaky breath. "Honey, there is something I really want to tell you-"

He smiled, suddenly very relieved that she was stepping up and being honest with him. Pride washed through him at how she believed in him and trusted him. "About you and Callen? Now I get to hear the big story of how you met, huh? Cool. So lay it on me, mama."

"No, its not that."

His smile slipped and he felt foolish in assuming she would tell him. "Well, since we're on the subject, why not just spit it out? Like you said before it was a long time ago and it don't matter anymore, not unless you make it matter by making it a secret between us."

"Handsome, you need to let all that go. I care for Callen and Sam, sure, but I love you. The past is the past. We have a great big awesome future ahead of us and that's where my eyes are focused. A future I want to share with the only man I love in all the world. You are my best friend, my lover, my partner, the only man who has my heart and the man who shares my life everyday. You don't have competition for me."

Her words sounded good but they left Derek feeling like she was hiding something. The same way he did with Tamara. Suddenly he felt dirty and ashamed of himself for putting his guilt off on Penelope when the situations were not the same at all.

Taking her hand he said "Well that's good, baby girl, cause I'm not gonna give no other man half the chance to steal you away from me. My whole future is reserved for you."  
"I'm glad you said that because there's something you should know about our future."

He raised an eyebrow.

She went on "In it there is going to be someone else besides just me and you."

His eyes searched hers.

She went on "You'll have to share me from now on."

"Penelope?"

"With our son or daughter. I'm pregnant, Hot Stuff!"

Derek sat there in complete silence leaving Penelope stunned at his response. She didn't know if he was happy or upset. Time seem to stop for a long quiet minute.

Finally he cleared his throat. "You're pregnant?"

For a brief moment she thought about smiling and saying "Just kidding," because she's almost positive that's what he wanted to hear but she couldn't lie to the man she loved. A lump formed in her throat. She wanted him to pull her into his arms and rejoice over the life they made but he isn't smiling and there's no light in his eyes. Just deep concern.

Her voice was soft when she said "Yes, I'm pregnant, Derek. I know we never talked about having kids and we didn't plan this but, yeah, I'm pregnant."

She could barely breathe as she waited for a reaction for him. Finally it was too much- all that silence- even if it had only been thirty seconds. It felt like years. Her eyes dropped back to her plate of food.

Suddenly Derek got out of his seat and pulled her up to her feet. Wrapping her tight in his arms he kissed her soundly until people at other tables were clapping and whistling. When they pulled apart she was completely breathless and her heart was pounding hard. He let go of her and she sunk back into her chair.

Derek sat down, took her hand, and stared lovingly at her for a long moment. "Wow, mama, I can hardly believe this. When did you find out?"

"A week ago. I was-"

He startled. His eyes went wider. "A week ago and you're just getting around to telling me now? What's up with that?"

"I wanted to wait for the perfect time. Look around. This place is perfect. Its a perfect memory."

After a moment he relaxed again, squeezing her hand, and his expression went very soft. "A baby, Penelope. Our baby. No more practicing."

She smiled back at him. Just then the waiter brought dessert. They spent the rest of the meal talking about the baby- how his mother would be happy, how the team would be surprised, and how they needed to make a nursery in their home. After dinner they went for a walk on the beach. Eventually they sat down. Penelope was between Derek's legs.

They watched the waves rolling in for several minutes in silence and finally Penelope said "I know you need more than an hour to figure this all out in your head. There's just so much to think about and talk about. We didn't expect this. Its okay to have mixed feelings, if you do, cause things are happening so fast-"

He kissed her neck. "I don't got mixed feelings. My God given solace is having our baby. How could that be anything but another amazing gift from God for me? I want this baby, sweetheart. I want our child. This is how it was always gonna work out. You and me making each other's dreams come true. Remember, mama, everything happens for a reason." His hands around her waist gently pressed down. "And making this baby was one of the reasons you and me have always had everything we got between us."

Hearing that she twisted in his arms and brought her mouth to his. Kissing desperately they fell back on the beach together. After long minutes of kissing, first feverishly and then more tenderly, Derek broke away. He propped himself up and looked down at her. "Did you go to your first doctor appointment yet?"

"Yeah when they took the test. But when I get back I'll set up a schedule for the rest of the pregnancy."

"I want to go with you as much as I can. I don't want to miss a thing, baby girl."

She gave him the softest and sweetest look as his lips came toward hers again. "I love you, Derek Morgan."

"I love you so much, Penelope Garcia, and I love this little baby Morgan we made."

She giggled. "All your practicing paid off."

"That don't mean we can't practice some more just so I don't get rusty," saying that he then started to kiss her again.


End file.
